If You’re Happy and You Know It…

…but nobody else can tell!

Despite being married to a man who laughs every day, I'm a pretty serious somebody. Side-splitting laughter seldom shakes my frame (unless my sister's at hand). Nor does the face brightening kind for that matter. If you've been reading my 'columns' here for long, this comes as no surprise to you. Reserve, caution, and persistent introspection seem to keep a lid on hilarity for me. Smiling is something of a discipline, not because there's nothing to smile about, but because I'm pre-occupied with other (serious!) things.

So today I'm thinking on things that are happy!

In Hebrew, that's 'esher', related to 'ashar' to 'go straight, set right, be made happy or blessed'. It's where the unusual name, Asher, which is incidentally my father's middle name, comes from. Leah was happy at Asher's birth and he was tagged! There's not a lot said about laughter in the Bible but there's a lot of happiness. It's a cousin to truth and righeousness in a way. Just look at all the conditions pronounced 'happy'…

---Happy are you, O Israel! Who is like you, a people saved by the LORD, The shield of your help And the sword of your majesty! Your enemies shall submit to you, And you shall tread down their high places." Deut.33:29

---ESHER is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. Ps.1:1

---ESHER is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Ps.32:1

---ESHER is the nation whose God is the LORD; and the people whom he has chosen for his own inheritance. Ps.33:12

---Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! ESHER is the man who takes refuge in him! Ps.34:8

---ESHER are the people who know the festal shout, who walk, O LORD, in the light of your face, who exult in your name all the day and in your righteousness are exalted. Ps.89:15,16

Now, stop there. Happy are the people who walk in the light of God's face—is God smiling? Who exult in His name and are exalted in His righteousness. Now there's a condition quite the opposite of working out one's own code of acceptable conduct, which takes unrelenting diligence and yes, self-preoccupation. But as His children part of our birthright is to be clothed in His robes of righteousness. We are set free from the pre-occupation of how we're looking…

Hmm… this is something I know a little about, this urge to get sewing my own robes and forget that I'm already decked out in the finest apparel. It's called 'rule-keeping'. I saw an apt description of such a lifestyle this week. Pretty much the anti-thesis to happiness!

"…at the core of “rule-based living” there is a defining of who you are and your worth as a person and the level of "safety" you feel about life by how well you’ve followed the system of rules you’ve adopted from your upbringing and culture. In this way of life, the rules become measuring sticks for your personhood and in many ways your identity is defined by rules—not only the rules you keep, but also the rules about the way you keep the rules.

So the rules become a double handicap—you’re limited and handicapped when you keep them and you’re emotionally tormented whether you keep them or not, since the very presence of the rules means you aren’t good enough or loveable enough just as you are.

The rules also are used as measuring sticks for other people and create either a continual judgement of those who have violated our rules ("You're bad because you don't live up to my expectations for you!") or a continual "comparison mentality" that fosters competition with others ("I'm better than you because I follow the rules better than you do!") "*

Whew! not much room for side-splitting laughter there, or even a smile!

Paul describes such self-righteous rule-keepers this way: "being ignorant of the Righteousness of God and seeking to establish their own, they did no submit to God's Righteousness. For Christ is the end of the law of Righteousness to everyone who believes." Rom.10:3,4

It's one thing to welcome Jesus into my life to help me sort through my baggage and make my load a little lighter, and yes, to help me be good… better… best. (??!) It's another to invite Him to be my righteousness. This entails the 'offense of the Cross' (Gal.5:11) acknowledging that all my attempts at righteousness apart from the activity of His Spirit are 'filthy rags' Is.64:6. But it's only in living in the self-forgetful freedom of this kind of righteousness that I can be truly happy. An author I sampled this week brings out this distinction:

Nobody will raise a fuss if you find Jesus helpful for your personal well-being and relationships, or even if you think he was the greatest person in history—a model worthy of devotion and emulation. But start talking about the real crisis—where our best efforts are filthy rags and Jesus came to bear the condemnation of helpless sinners who place their confidence in him rather than in themselves—and people begin shifting in their seats, even in churches.

He continues elsewhere to point out that a Christianity focused on my efforts is a recipe for burnout:

Discipleship, spiritual disciplines, life transformation,culture-transformation, relationships, marriage and family, stress, the spiritual gifts, financial gifts, radical experiences of conversion, end-times curiosities that seem to have less to do with Christ’s bodily return than with matching verses to newspaper headlines, and accounts of overcoming significant obstacles through the power of faith. This is the steady diet we’re getting today, and it is bound to burn us out because it’s all about us and our work rather than about Christ and his work.**

But here I am back at churning up the negative…. The happiest reading I've done this week has been in the Word. I woke one morning from a dream with a recurring theme—about failure. Feeling lost and confused and unable to get my bearings or keep to my schedule or find my classes… (This dream harks back to highschool days as a shy kid far from home at boarding school.) Failing and not knowing how to fix it. Failing and noone else seeming to notice (or care). I hate this dream. It reminds me of my longing for a 'life coach' to steer me through all the 'must do's of life. So I get it right and don't miss any 'classes'. I woke thinking these things. Enter, the Word.

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye. Do not be like the horse or like the mule, Which have no understanding, Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle…" Ps.32:8

What am I thinking?! I do have a Life Coach. (Incidentally, I had a Life Coach then as well. I wasn't in fact failing, only fearing that I might.) The disciples likely felt the same. Jesus reassured them: "And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." Jn.14:16-18

And here's the solution for rule-keepers too, those ones living under the pressure of never failing. The Spirit. It's not about keeping the law but walking by the Spirit. The Galatians slipped back into attempts at their own righteousness too and Paul soundly warned them: "You are severed from Christ, you who would be justified by the law; you have fallen away from grace." Gal.5:4

In Christ Jesus neither [keeping the rules] or not [keeping the rules] counts for ANYTHING, but only faith working through love. (my paraphrase of Gal.5:6) This is so because Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law—that body of rules we couldn't keep no matter how hard we tried. He became a curse for us 'so that in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham might come to the Gentiles, SO THAT WE MIGHT RECEIVE THE PROMISED SPIRIT THROUGH FAITH.’ Gal.3:14 There it is again, the Spirit, our source of life and our guide through life. Nightmare be gone. If I fail to attend a class or do an assignment or ace a test, all is not lost. I am not lost. I am not unnoticed. He will guide me with His eye upon me. I am His. His Spirit is in me. This is happy news for a rule-keeper!

And it keeps coming:

"But now we are released from the law, having died to that which held us captive, so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit and not in the old way of the written code." Rom.7:6

"The Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we don't know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us…" Rom.8:26

Christ Jesus died, more than that, was raised for my justification Rom.4:25. Who can accuse me? It is God who justifies. Who can condemn? Rom.8:33,34

And this is the choicest tidbit of all this week:

For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified. Heb.10:14

I love this passage in Hebrews. You really need to look at the whole context, but here is a clear-cut case for the work Jesus has already done being enough for me. Some snatches:

"I will put my laws on their hearts, and write them on their minds,…I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more. Where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer any offering for sin. Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh,  and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful."

It's ultimately His faithfulness that matters.  His sacrifice.  His work. He pours in the grace. He grants the faith. I believe and live by His Spirit's empowering. This is HAPPY news!

Paul encapsulated this so well in his own testimony: "And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose." Gal.2:20 This was in sharp contrast to what he observed in the Galatian church:

"Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?"! Gal.3:3

Rule-keeping for righteousness was on the rise and with it the attendant conceit and envy. Their corrective prescription: "For you were called to freedom, brothers. Don't use it as an opportunity for the flesh…If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit." Gal.5:13,25

These are the makings of 'ashar' to 'go straight, set right, be made happy or blessed', and they begin with counting on His righteousness, luxuriating in His robes of righteousness, as I walk not by some concocted code of "do's" and "don'ts", but by His Spirit.

So I'm thinking on these things this week, things that are true of me as God's dearly loved child. And maybe this truth will yet set me free from bondage to self-consciousness to smile and laugh a little more often, a little more freely… “for My Redeemer is strong. The Lord of Hosts is His Name!”

When the LORD turned again the captivity of Zion,
we were like them that dream.
Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing:
then said they among the heathen,
The LORD hath done great things for them.

The LORD hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad.
Ps.126:1-3

--LS

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*Ellyn Davis of Homeschool Marketplace.com

**Excerpts from Chapter One ---Michael Horton, Christless Christianity: The Alternative Gospel of the American Church, Baker Books© 2008 available online at: http://www.christlesschristianity.org/images/CC-Book-Excerpt.pdf

Simply Jesus

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Warm sun on the back of my stiff neck. Feet up and tucked in a cozy fleece-lined quilt. Laptop purring warm in my lap. It's easy to get into my little comforts and let the lethal impression settle in my bones that this life is all about celebrating me, or at least it should be!

There are an awful lot of books and media messages out there to help me along toward this conclusion. Strangely, even well-meaning Christian books on experiencing Jesus can leave me with this impression. It's as subtle as suggesting that Jesus wants to heal your pain (which He does), so come to Him--for relief. That Jesus suffered and died for you—so you don't need to suffer. That meeting Him will make your world revolve more smoothly-- around you… All these things are true, at least in part. But there's a subtle me-centricity to them which will come back to bite hard when relief is delayed, when I am called to suffer or when my world stops revolving around my dreams and ideals.

I've read two books on experiencing Jesus in the last two weeks. The first, a new book, emphasized the irresistible human personality traits of Jesus and how easy it is to fall in love with Him once we cast off the toxic fog of religion and its attendant qualms and duties. It was an enticing view but left me wary of a self-serving motive akin to the 'I love you because you make me feel good' notion that precipitates 'love, marriage, and the baby carriage'! Infatuation can get the ball rolling but it's only the bare immature beginnings. It may or may not materialize into a long rewarding relationship, depending largely on the expectations and commitment of the partners. What will happen when the 'feelings' fade? Is it just a matter of kindling and re-kindling feelings that assure me I am still at the center of the universe? To be fair, this author did briefly address the concept of surrendering our self-determination and a brief epilogue acknowledged the inevitability of suffering, but somehow this didn't undo the impression that experiencing Jesus is about my satisfaction more than anything else. [Curious? my full review is posted here.]

The second book I finished just last night is a wee thing I read when it first came out ten years ago. It drew me then, as it did again this week, by its title and conciseness: Simply Jesus ** In a mere eight-six pages Joseph Stowell affirms that yes, there is a reality of experiencing Jesus that goes beyond mere head knowledge and religious exercises. The first difference in his treatment of the subject however, is that he affirms regular Bible study and a life of prayer (religious 'duty' by some estimations) as essential foundations to this experience before he proceeds.

His descriptive list of what such an 'experience' is about gives clarity to just what we're after…

--It's about a deep and abiding sense of His nearness on the journey.

--It's about an unshakable confidence that only His abiding presence can give.

--It's about a closeness that enables your spirit to commune with Him, anywhere, anytime, regardless.

--It's about meeting Him in places you may have never dreamed of… in the most heated of seductions, in the midst of suffering, and in acts of unflinching surrender. (10)

That last point I found to be the most intriguing aspect of this book. It is the author's interpretation of Paul's professed passion to: 'know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death' (Phil.3:10) It doesn't fit the popular standard for how (or why) to know Jesus. In times of temptation? In suffering? In giving up what I crave? This is not a picture of using Jesus to fulfill my agenda. Are these the places I must go if I want to truly experience Jesus?

Here's where I found the most striking contrast in the two books. Both hold out the potential of a satisfying experience, but in one the motive seems to be my well-being, my peace and contentment and my feeling better about myself. It's heavy on emotional realities and light on the tough aspects of conforming my will to His. One holds my pleasure as the ultimate purpose for intimacy, suggesting that if I feel hurt I should 'forgive Jesus' and I'll feel better. While the other holds my conformity to Christ at any cost as the actual purpose of getting acquainted with Jesus. Both hold threads of truth but it was the latter one I needed this week.

Yes, I could likely use a more emotional connection with Jesus, but Stowell did me the favor of pointing out the barriers I raise that hinder making that connection. Stated bluntly, one of the greatest obstacles is self-absorption: "At some point, the sooner in life the better, we have to come to grips with whether "He" or "me" will be the main feature of our existence." Stowell adds a caution, it's easy to fool yourself into thinking "that you can be fully absorbed with yourself and in hot pursuit of him at the same time. But that isn't reality. You can't have it both ways." And just in the nick of time, before I squared up my shoulders to resolve (again) to 'work on that' (Ha! Like determining not to think about hulking gray elephants pirouetting in lacy pink tutus!) I was reminded this will have to be His work in me. Mine to acknowledge my shortfall. His to pour in the grace and ability to become so enthralled with Jesus that myself becomes a non-issue. Imagine it.

Well, then came two practical tips—a couple attitude shifts to practice:

#1 Rejoice in the Lord. Now, I've thought on that one many times but hadn't considered its opposite: "It's time to stop rejoicing in ourselves and start rejoicing in Jesus" (35) Well, that surely runs counter to popular psychology. Hmm… And before you start thinking Stowell a dull kill-joy, consider his reasoning:

“It's just that 'no matter how charming, witty, or profound we may be, we were not created to enthrall ourselves with ourselves for long periods of time." (22)

I had to chuckle at that. He clarifies that rejoicing in the Lord isn't about becoming a smile machine, or denying hard times. It's about 'living to brag on Jesus instead of ourselves'! (36) And it starts by taking that spark of joy that comes with personal blessing or accomplishment and turning it into a celebration of His provision and grace in my life. Unlike rejoicing in my attainments, rejoicing in the Lord is an endless source of boasting. Always fitting. Never growing old. If I will learn to take that impulse to make much of me and mine and let it spark appreciation for Him, I will be on my way to experiencing Jesus continually (and will spare myself hitting a self-absorbed dead end!)

I know all about these dead-ends. I've been hitting my head against one just lately. How, for instance, did I come to be slumped in a disheartened 'funk' first thing this morning despite the early sun rising in a cloudless sky promising the coming of a beautiful day?

I was pouting really, sick and tired of not being able to 'make happen' what I want (and I'm confident Jesus also wants) to see happen, sick of asking for enabling and still feeling powerless, sick of feeling like a failure… Hmm… the rejoicing in me runs out pretty quickly!

What was that other attitude shift I needed?

#2 Value Jesus above Everything

Just last night I sat half-heartedly scrawling notes about that in my journal: "My greatest treasure must be Jesus. Attaching my heart to any lesser thing will limit my ability to experience Jesus. What do I really value most? Does it show up in the way I live?"  Well, at this moment my focus was not on valuing Jesus but on my frustration at not getting answers or apparent help for my mission in life… I sat in the quiet chill of my 'woe-is-me'-ness this morning journaling—what does this quick descent to apathetic weariness (again) reveal about what I value most? Can I not 'persevere in doing good' without tangible instantaneous rewards and affirmations? When I don't get what I want when I want it (now) can I not rejoice in the Lord and cherish all He is to me in every circumstance?

The house was cold. My tummy hungry. My body sapped of energy from my mental gloom… I would really have preferred to curl up and close my eyes than face this need for soul restoration. Yet that is in fact why I climbed out of bed in the first place!

And the question came to mind from the previous night's reading: Can I experience Him here—in the midst of frustration and disappointment? And I began to reflect on Jesus' temptations and potential frustrations… Was He ever tempted to self-pity? After all He had disciples that were forever bumbling cluelessly despite the best of teaching and modeling. He walked alone when it came to the hard choices, to setting an example, to going the extra mile or taking the path of greatest resistance…

He got hungry, tired, cold and surely was tempted to wallow in discouragement sometimes? But He had one thing clearly in mind. He hadn't come to this sin-sick earth to please Himself. The deprivation and struggle of his earthly mission wasn't something He'd volunteered for out of self-interest. So what was to be done but to persevere in 'seeking and saving that which was lost', enduring 'for the joy set before Him', 'loving His own' no matter what slow learners they were… washing feet, touching lepers, taking time to teach, living a lifestyle of interruptions, inconveniences, unpleasant confrontations, criticism and rejection but saying and doing what needed to be said and done anyway.

So can I experience Jesus in my place of temptation today, in my miniscule 'sufferings'? And know that He fully sympathizes with my frustrations and my weakness? (It gives His strength a place to shine!) Can I re-commit to this path chosen for me, this calling that isn't all sunshine and hollyhocks?

Jesus,
You were where I am, only without the pity party, the slumping shoulders, the 'woe-is-me'. You knew Your calling—the joy of 'bringing many sons to glory', so you kept on in the face of opposition, entrusting yourself to 'Him who judges justly' (I Pet.2:23) and doing the next thing step by step… I have overlooked the possibilities of experiencing You in the now, 'as is' of my life, in the process of life as it comes…It's not about finding you in some sacred 'other' state of mind, but about realizing that you are at the door at this moment, waiting for my invitation to meet me here and share in this conversation with my heart's 'self-talk'. Like the 'stranger' on the Road to Emmaus, you show up to interject Your perspective to open my understanding, to help me see what you see... It is enough.

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want….He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul… (Ps.23:1,2)

--LS

"…forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Phil.3:13)

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I must tuck in some quotes that speak volumes:

"It's time to stop turning our backs on Him in pain and flee to His embrace.

But we are only free to do this when we have ceased to live to rejoice in ourselves. If we are intent to celebrate 'me' in life, we will resist trials and quickly become embittered when they settle in for the long haul—to say nothing of the difficulty in meeting Jesus in pain when we have valued comfort and peace more than nearness to Him. If He is the supreme value in our lives then we will be willing to meet Him in times of trouble." Stowell—Simply Jesus, 71

"If we really desire to experience Him, we need to stop blaming God, reverse our self-centered demand for release, and realize for the first time in our lives that we are getting a firsthand experience of what he felt and experienced as He suffered for us. Stop and identify the type of trouble you feel. Think through Christ's suffering and identify where His pain meets yours. Ask Him to forgive you for feeling that you should be exempt. And as you feel His pain in yours, thank Him that He loved you enough to suffer like this for you." (70)

"To experience Him in the midst of our pain requires that we stop whining about our trials." (70)

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**All quotations from: Simply Jesus: Experiencing the One Your Heart Longs For by Joseph Stowell (former president of Moody Bible Institute), Multnomah Publ., 2002.

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*[I am indebted to Amanda Spencer for this irresistibly bright hollyhock watercolor.  View more of her work here.]

Hit Between the Eyes

 
What do you do when faced with a lifetime built on the wrong paradigm?

Thanks to the conspiracy of the Holy Spirit and the books that have dropped into my life this week, I’ve been reminded of a paradigm shift that is incomplete in my life--one of those belief systems that dies hard and must be weeded out root by root… Mine has been the upbringing of a self-righteous Pharisee. No blame intended, it’s just what I latched onto as a means to satisfy my need to please…

Little by little the Spirit shows me what he sees and what I need to confess and reject. I’m still trying to frame clearly in words this insidious belief system that sabotages my heart. It’s something to the effect of believing that doing the right thing, avoiding mistakes, treading cautiously so as not to slip and fall, living wary of potential failure… all these things are indispensable to maintaining a ‘right-eousness’ that will not only qualify me for the Kingdom but guarantee me an A+ standing. Yep, I got Jesus ‘on board’ at an early age too, as that was clearly the ‘right’ thing to do in my religious community, and I might need His help along the way…. Cultivating a relationship with Him was clearly requisite to maintaining my ‘righteousness’ (and bolstering my insecurities). So I did, as much as a self-righteous sinner can. But I’ve always been goaded by stories that depict great love and adoration, great mercy, forgiveness and compassion. The self-righteous generally are.

Consider, for instance, the publican and the Pharisee going up to pray. Who gets a hearing? Not the “I thank thee that I am not like that lout of a man”, but the miserable repentant sinner who pleads: “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!”(Luke 18).

And what’s this with the prostitute kneeling at Jesus’ feet weeping and washing His feet with her tears, trusting His compassionate heart to forgive: “Her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little." (Lk.7:47) I have long secretly envied her heart-felt extravagance.

“Little love” is not enough to empower a life of self-forgetful service and whole-hearted sacrifice! Anything short of my life a ‘living sacrifice’ is insufficient worship to offer. But giving up my fabricated ‘righteousness’ and dogged self-preservation feels like a life-sentence. Hmm… ‘death to self’ could it be? What would that look like?

I’m reading a book I borrowed from my dad-in-law entitled: Living Sacrifice (Roseveare). It’s been one of those times in my life when books conspire to nail me between the eyes with my condition. Whether Owen Meany* (see last week’s blog) and his sense of destiny to give his life to save others, or Helen Roseveare’s reflections on lessons learned as a missionary in the Congo/Zaire, or the book I have yet to mention that came in the mail this week for me to review…All point to a love that is not only willing but glad to surrender its life for another. If these are not enough hints, there’s Paul’s joyful letter to the Philippians, in which he extols the privilege of suffering for Christ’s sake. It has been granted to us that ‘for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in Him but also suffer for his sake…’ (Phil.1:29).


Paul himself experienced the rigorous life of the true Pharisee with its confidence, zeal, and blamelessness and declared it all a net loss, garbage in comparison to the worth of knowing Christ, sharing His righteousness, His resurrection power and His sufferings. It was the goal of Paul’s life to be like Christ, humbly obedient to the point of death. Where does that kind of self-forgetful zeal come from?

My guess is, love. And Paul’s own words in his letter to the Corinthians confirm it: “For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again. II Cor. 5:14,15

This kind of self-sacrificing love is unfamiliar territory for the self-righteous—wise in their own sight, self-sufficient, not cognizant of the grace in which they live and breathe. Thinking they have little to be forgiven, they love little. I wonder if you saw “The Passion of the Christ” (Gibson, 2004) when it came out? I watched alone those moments of Christ’s trial when the pious Pharisees and chief priests in all their regalia were standing smugly by and I was struck with my own culpability. But then with awe I realized that this repugnantly self-righteous lot were among those for whom Christ came to die. His piercing words to them throughout His ministry--calling them ‘white-washed sepulchers’, blind guides, children of the devil—were not meant to condemn but to confront them with their sinful selves so they could repent and be saved.

And even still Christ calls to self-righteous me, to relinquish my rubbish and rely on His righteousness alone. And again, by faith, I trade in my bankrupt agenda for His and trust Him to put His great love in my heart. I can’t serve Him without it.

It’s got to be by faith. Everything else reeks of self and sin. “Whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.” Rom.14:23 I do want to ‘get it right’ but my motives are so skewed. Jesus is not only the founder of my faith, but its perfecter (Heb.12:2) It’s not about the perfection of what I do but of my faith—resting my whole case on Christ from beginning to end. “As you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him.” (Col.2:6) It doesn’t just start with believing I’m a hopeless sinner and He’s my Saviour. It continues that way. He saves me from myself every day by passing day, and my only hope of walking worthy of my calling is by faith, that He is able…thus the fear and trembling of ‘working out my own salvation’ (Phil.2:12) for it is this awesome, holy, perfect, almighty God that is in the process of redeeming my life and making it an instrument of redemption…

Larry Crabb goes so far as to state: “Without an ongoing consciousness of sin, any sense of nearness to [God] is counterfeit. But with consciousness of sin, the fire of purifying holiness will sustain your faith.”(God’s Love Letters to You,44) I’m still chewing on this one.

Helen Roseveare’s stories viewed apart from such a work of God only make me squirm. Such self-sacrificial service was her response to Jesus’ love and death for her, ‘a way to express to God [my] great love for Him.’ When she speaks of this ‘insistent demand in our heart to express to Him our love’ I hesitate in self-examination. But the last enigmatic straw is this willingness to suffer, the costliness of such a love. She speaks of it as the ‘privileged opportunity of sharing in His love’, of ‘jointly demonstrating’ it to others…

Am I willing to give my whole heart, soul, mind and strength for His purposes—the loan of all I am, for His glory, without advance notice of the implications, and without life-time guarantees? This is going to have to be a process He works out in me too, by faith. When I glance through the Hebrews 11 crowd, that great cloud of witnesses to the life of faith, I am stretched.

• choosing mistreatment with God’s people rather than ‘the fleeting pleasures of sin’
  
• considering ‘the reproach of Christ’ greater wealth than Egypt’s treasures because of the reward in view…
  
• enduring ‘as seeing Him who is invisible’
  
• refusing release ‘so that they might rise again to a better life’
  
• ‘of whom the world was not worthy’
  
• ‘for the joy set before Him’ enduring the cross
  
  All of them were looking ahead to another reality—an unshakeable Kingdom, which made their present losses of no account. Not living under persecution or great hardships it is easy to get lulled into clinging to present comforts and shunning discomfort. I’m challenged by the perspective Larry Crabb champions in his recent book God’s Love Letters to You (Thomas Nelson, 2010) These devotional excerpts certainly don’t read like conventional ‘love letters’. They continuously point to a greater hope than the present, a bigger purpose than present ‘blessings’--God’s sort of ‘tough love’--designed to prepare us for Kingdom living. For instance:

“The greatest danger My people face today is prosperity, blessings that reinforce the false hope that nothing serious will ever go wrong in their lives if they just keep believing, expecting, trusting, and smiling….When every expectation of how your life should turn out is shattered; when I seem to you like an indifferent, cold sovereign, a promise breaker, a useless God, an abandoning parent, rejoice! You are ready for the unveiling, to meet Me as I am.” (47)

“When your life hits a bump that I could smooth but don’t, will you continue to think I should surrender My wisdom to yours and do what you think best?”(50)

“My people in Judges never repented. They remained in love with their own sense of well-being, with no understanding that love, real love, the love that defines Me, involves suffering the loss of well-being for the sake of another….You…are inclined to depend on Me for the good life of blessings and to mistake that dependence for love. You’re more afraid of losing the good life than of losing (or never gaining) a close relationship with Me. You do not yet see that being with Me is your greatest blessing, no matter what else may be happening in you life.”(20)

“Know this: those who live by faith will struggle in ways that those who live to make their lives work will never know. It is that struggle, to believe despite desperate pain and confusion that a good plan is unfolding, that will open your eyes to see Me more clearly. Is that what you want? Will you pay the price?

“The price is this: you will tremble in agony as you live in a sinful, self-prioritizing world. You will learn to wait in emptiness and frustrated desire for My plan of love to reveal itself…”(53)

And so, God loves, and we believe, as we bank on His righteousness being sufficient. And we wait for our full redemption, ‘prisoners of hope’, confident that God is working in us to make us like His Son and love the world through us in the meantime.

“Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe” (Heb.12:28)



God be merciful to me, a sinner,

LS


*My book review of: A Prayer for Owen Meany is at: http://thestackofdawn.blogspot.com/2011/07/prayer-for-owen-meany.html

In it FOR HIM...

Thanks to a perceptive friend I have a note to add to last week’s words, a softer note.  She encouraged me to look at the stages of development in a child and compare them to our maturing process as children of God. Each stage is normal and necessary…
  
***A child is helpless and hungry and desperately in need of loving nurture.
--So we come to God and He pours His love on us and His lavish blessings.  We begin to know we are loved. This knowledge is foundational to healthy growth—absolutely essential.
  
***Then we are toddlers, curious and playful but also needing instruction, guidance and correction.  
--We begin to know love as more than a good feeling, or a lot of good things.  Love disciplines us for our future wellbeing.  Our behavior has consequences.  We are beginning to grow up.

***As we near adulthood we begin to look for our life purpose and take responsibility for others.  We begin to sacrifice our own desires for the next generation.  And we find that we can know our parents as real people, not just authority figures.  (This comes as a sweet surprise for the parent too!)
–-How much more must God delight to see us growing to maturity and beginning to share His passions. This is what we are made for—to really know Him, even as we are known and from this to derive a life purpose that mirrors His own.


What is that purpose?
Where do we go next in figuring out what it means that we exist FOR GOD?
I bumped into Authentic Faith* this week and I quote:

“The new groundwork that needs to be laid is an authentic faith that is based on a God-centered life.  Rather than the believer being the sun around whom God, the church, and the world revolve in order to create a happy, easy, and prosperous life, God becomes the sun around which the believer revolves, a believer who is willing to suffer—even to be persecuted—and lay down his or her life to build God’s kingdom and to serve God’s church.  This is a radical shift—indeed, the most radical (and freeing) shift known in human experience—and it leads to a deep friendship with God.”(Gary Thomas,11)

There is an implication here that runs counter to our independence-loving culture.  Pursuing God’s Kingdom is all about living for His Church, His bride, of which we are a part, not the whole.  Ouch.  Does this make you as uncomfortable as it does me?  You mean, we can’t fulfill God’s purposes in isolation?!  Some solitary prayer, some Bible reading, some reflecting—maybe some ‘blogging’?

Peter says we’re  ‘a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession’, all corporate words, Body words.  Chosen for what?  --to corporately ‘declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.’ (IPet.2:9) Clearly, we’re in this thing of being ‘for Him’ together.

Paul alludes to an eternal purpose here far beyond us: "that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places!" And he clearly believed it!  If we follow his lead look at the 'ride' we're in for--definitely not about personal comfort or advantage:
         “We… are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake”(IICor.4:11)

“it is all for your sake…”(IICor.4:15) 

“For the love of Christ controls us…We have concluded this: that one has died for all…that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.”(IICor.5:15) 

And if that doesn’t convince me, Paul provides credentials that he is truly God’s servant, which include every sort of endurance from sleepless nights to calamities, poverty, slander, hunger  and ‘having nothing!’ (IICor.6:4ff).  He talks about wanting to share Christ’s sufferings and become like Him in his death (Phil 3:10).  What is that about?!  I have to admit, I have always shied away from that concept.  I don’t like pain. It scares me.  So what is this journey to KNOW God about?

You’ll have to excuse me if this starts to read more like a travel brochure than a journal.  This is mostly uncharted territory for me.  But I feel the draw, the invitation “to join our Lord in living for the glory of the Father instead of for our own reputation, and …to give ourselves over to the salvation and sanctification of Christ’s bride, the church, rather than to be consumed by our own welfare (gulp).  This holy self-forgetfulness is the most genuine mark of true faith, the evidence of God’s merciful grace in our lives.”(Thomas,23)

And for sure it will have to be by His grace.  Self-forgetful?  Definitely not there yet.  Sounds a little like Matthew 16:25: “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”  I’m constantly intrigued and challenged by this principle.  Being introspective by nature I’m always rummaging around to figure out what makes me tick… looking to ‘find myself’.  Hmmm…  “Death to self” is a related theme I’m confronted with.  Living FOR GOD means dying to ME.  Is that it?

I find here an illuminating quote from C.S. Lewis (Beyond Personality):

The principle runs through all life from top to bottom.  Give up yourself, and you’ll find your real self.  Lose your life and you’ll save it.  Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favorite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end: submit with every fiber of your being, and you will find eternal life.  Keep NOTHING back.  Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours.  Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead.  Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay.  But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.

Wow.  So this is what living for Him is about?!
How do we do this?  This transition from self-centered babes to selfless adults who exist for God’s glory?  Or maybe it’s not about what we do…(?)
                                             ---------------------------------


I’d love to do some thinking about this with you (since we're on this journey together!) What does living for Him mean to you? What do you see as means to growth and how does the Body around you fit into that?
Drop a comment in the box or send off a snippet of e-mail, whichever you prefer, and thanks for your time--I know this was long.
--LS







*I ran across Authentic Faith this week while reviewing church library donations.  I love the way God drops truth into my life via books--His Word, first and foremost, but so often also the voices of assorted teachers in the Body via the books they have written.  It broadens my view of the Church to include all believers worldwide exercising their gifts for the common good.  Don’t miss this aspect of the Body.  Open a worthy book today!  (and expect to hear more from Gary Thomas' book!)