Our Fire-tending God

I had a hurried time in the Word one day this week, catching just a few snatches, a short Psalm, but even a few snatches are powerful when the Spirit applies them to the heart.  I read Psalm 93:

“The LORD reigns…the world is established; it shall never be moved…The floods have lifted up, O LORD, the floods lift up their roaring!! 
Mightier than the waves of the sea, the LORD on high is mighty!  Your decrees are very trustworthy; holiness befits your house, O LORD, forevermore.” 

And I scribbled these words in my journal before scooting off to breakfast and on with the day: How will this truth live in my thoughts and actions today and bring life to damaged belief systems?

I struggle with varied nagging fears.  It is my nature not to trust completely and to feel instead that it’s up to me to insure my well-being, and that of those I love.  This is problematic when circumstances are clearly outside my control!  I have been thinking about these things and on this particular day I got a little object lesson in how senseless and peace-robbing my fears are, and how trustworthy and holy-making is God’s Word at work in my heart.

Jim was burning brush in the backyard—a great mound of it left from his landscaping work… It has been so very dry here this summer. Fire bans were in effect while forest fires raged in record breaking ways nearby. But the rain has returned and cooler temperatures allow for burning once again. Still there is always a risk. And the crackling of fire, the smoke, the consciousness of its heat and potential make me wary... Well, so I took lunch out to Jim as he stood sentinel by his blazing inferno.  And we sat together at a short distance to eat. But I could not relax, could not enter into our usual discussion of life and faith… I kept straining to see if the fire was within its parameters and had not reached to lick up dry grass and spread out of control...It wasn't my job. Jim was in charge. He was mindful. (And he is after all a trained fire fighter!)  But I felt an undue responsibility and it robbed me of a peaceful lunch and  meaningful conversation. But I recognized it, and that’s a start. 

Well, the day was too lovely to be holed up indoors so after lunch I brought my current project out to sit and keep Jim company--stitching a pine needle basket. There’s nothing quite so peaceful and therapeutic, especially on such a day when there’s  just enough sun to be warm and enough cool to feel refreshed, enough autumn in the air to luxuriate in the remains of summer!  A perfectly restful idea, EXCEPT for the presence of that crackling blazing fire. 

Could I actually relax and attend to MY business and let Jim attend to his as if there were no fire crackling nearby, no smoke lazily rising, no threat of catching the world on fire! I almost chose to stay inside rather than wrestle with my fears. 

It seems a silly example but for my heart it was a moment to rest in  a bigger reality. God is the Fire-tender. (He is Himself a consuming fire!). His domain reaches infinitely beyond my own. He has given me a calling within it along with its attendant duties; these are my domain. He intends for me to carry them out at peace with the world--to stay calm and carry on, so to speak, to mind my own business, looking to Him for the wherewithal to do so and let Him mind His. When I do my task with inner peace and quiet joy, confident in His superintending care, I honor Him as a very good King. I am a subject; He the King. How blessed are the subjects of a wise King, as Queen Sheba commented in observing King Solomon’s impressive court.   And what  glory contented subjects bring to their King.

And with these thoughts fed by the morning’s reading of the Word, I sat and stitched…and let the fire be somebody else’s business.  The LORD reigns.  Forever.  Period.  The noise of a flood (or a fire!) may be in my ears, but HE reigns.  It can do no harm but what He allows.  This was a relevant object lesson for me.  I can trust Him to manage the fires in my life—the burning away of dross, the disciplining of His children for the sake of our holiness.  My response?  I can REJOICE in GOD even as I tremble at His Word.  Abiding in Him I can ask, knock, and seek,  confident that He hears, that He knows, and that He will grant what is in line with His purposes.  There is great peace in such an arrangement.

If you were to ask Jim whether I have fully learned this lesson of trust, he would let you know I’m still querying him about the smoke drifting past the window as the roots continue to burn day and night…I still remind him to check on things (as if he needed my reminder), and to be honest, I’m still a little on edge about this fire business in the back yard. I’ll be relieved when it has burned itself out completely.   But there it is, my object lesson about needless fears.  Were God only a consuming fire and not perfect LOVE, were I not His by means of a covenant He established and I have entered into by faith, I would do well to fear the FIRE.  But as it is, He is committed to my good, bringing all that He is to the task, for His glory’s sake.  He is a covenant keeping God.  I can rest in this… and go on stitching my little pine needle baskets to His glory…

So whatever you are doing today, do it to the glory of God—with quiet confidence that He reigns in all the raging world around, as you fulfill His purposes for you in the here and now.

--LS

“…we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God…” Rom. 5:1,2

More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. Rom.5:11

For if, because of one man’s trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.” Rom.5:17

But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit,  keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. Jude 1:20-21

Has God got you Cornered?

 

The enemy was coming. They could see his chariots glinting in the sun. The thunder of horses' hooves made the ground shake beneath their feet. Terror rose in their throats. We're gonna' die; it would have been better to stay in Egypt, slaving, but alive.

This is actually what the people said. Poor Moses. Poor God! This must have pierced his heart. With his mighty arm He'd whisked them from under the enemy's nose and was in the process of leading them to their new home...like a gallant Prince.

Only there was this detour. It wasn't a comfortable one, but then it wasn't for their sakes that He'd turned them around and maneuvered them into this sticky position, between a rock and the sea. Somehow the Egyptians had caught wind of it and Pharaoh decided to go get his slave force back! It should have been easy; they were cornered in the desert. No way out, but for God.

After all that Pharaoh had already seen of plagues and death wreaked by this God, you'd think he would have known better than to mess with God's people. But this was as God had planned it. He'd led his people into this awkward position to tantalize the enemy to oppose Him one more time so that one more time He could show himself strong and 'get glory over Pharaoh and all his host' so the Egyptians would know beyond a doubt that 'I am the Lord.'  (Ex.14:4)

It's a story worth considering if you find yourself in a tight spot through no fault of your own. God may have you cornered for purposes that go far beyond you to the praise of His glory.

So what are you to do?

First, what NOT to do...

By way of negative example, from Exodus 14, written no doubt for our benefit:

1) 'they feared greatly' As long as we're focused on the terror this will be our lot. Had they paused to consider that God had led them to this place... and that God had gone to great lengths to free them from their enemy prior to this...they might have had a different response.

2) 'they cried out to the Lord' This would have been a good idea, if they had gotten past the initial panicked AAAAaaaaa!!!! to a prayer powered by faith. Instead, they turned on Moses...

3) they blamed their hero for all their troubles, completely disregarding the fact that he was in this mess for their sakes. And they ranted a jumble of terror-stricken nonsense about wishing to be slaves in Egypt.

That's what they did when they were cornered. And to be honest, I have done the very same thing in times of crisis. The memories stand etched in my mind as witness. But God didn't abandon them for their want of confidence in Him. He would use this crisis, (as He has used mine) to build their faith in Him and in their leader, Moses.

So what ARE we to do in times of crisis
when we feel cornered and helpless?

For this we turn to Moses’ instructions and example:

#1 Fear not. (smile) It's easier said than done, but nevertheless, our calling. And it will be more easily accomplished when we turn our gaze away from the crisis long enough to hear what God is saying. Singing praise songs is a time-honored strategy for gaining perspective. (See: II Chron.20)

[At risk of distracting us from the story in view, may I commend to you a parallel account of God rescuing His people. It's in II Chronicles 20 and I'll slip in some quotes from there as we go..]

"O our God, will you not execute judgment on them? For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you." (II Chron. 20:12)

#2 Stand firm. Was this the story Paul was considering when he gave the Ephesian church a strategy for the fight of faith? "...and having done all, to stand firm."  No running around willy-nilly, no jumping up and down in an agitated panic, no tearing off to hide. Just stand firm, feet planted, right where God has put you until He gives the next instruction.

"You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the LORD on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.' Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, and the LORD will be with you." (II Chron.20:17)

#3 Watch God do the fighting! "See the salvation of the LORD, which he will work for you today." (Ex.14:13) We often think things are up to us that in reality are up to God to perform. He sometimes asks only that we stand on the sidelines in confident expectancy while He does the fighting and gets all the glory.

And he said, "Listen, all Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem and King Jehoshaphat: Thus says the LORD to you, 'Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God's.' " (II Chron.20:15)

#4 Oh and last but not least they were to 'Shut up!' That's not exactly how Moses said it, mind you. To his credit he appears to have responded calmly and confidently to all the drama: "The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." (Ex.14:14) Whew, what a welcome silence that would have been! The last thing that's needed in a crisis is to multiply desperate faithless words. Better to be quiet.

At that point Moses could hear God's direction--Stop crying out to me; use that staff I gave you to part the sea! Why of course, why hadn't he thought of that?! Maybe this is a reminder when we pray, to also listen to what God is saying in answer to our dilemma. It could be that we have in our hand the very thing God will use to answer our request.

We know the rest of the story--

...how God brought premature darkness and a cloud to delay the foe until the path through the sea had been blown dry...

...and how his people crossed safely but when the Egyptians followed, their chariot wheels ran amuck and God put them in a panic until they were the ones attempting to flee!… “Resist the devil and he will flee from you." (James 4:7)

...and how He brought the waters crashing back down to bury the enemy in a watery grave.

And what was the end result?

God was glorified--made to look great, just as He'd planned! His own people now feared Him and believed in the LORD and in their appointed leader (Ex.14:31). And the surrounding nations were terrified and let the Israelites pass on by! "Terror and dread fall upon them; because of the greatness of your arm, they are still as a stone." (15:16)

So if/when you find yourself huddled in terror, heart pounding in your ears as you imagine the worst--stand firm in faith and see what God will do. He has you cornered there for His own glory. He is mighty to save! Our Redeemer is strong; the Lord of Heaven's armies is His name! He will surely defend us. (Jer.50:34)

--LS

"You have led in your steadfast love the people whom you have redeemed; you have guided them by your strength to your holy abode." Ex.15:13

Recipe for Dismay

Have you felt it—that sickening discomposure that leaves you weak and confounded and thinking, “What am I gonna do?!” but too overwhelmed to imagine there is anything that can be done…?

Literally ‘dismay’ means to be shattered, to be broken down with fear, ‘shorn of strength’—’like plants of the field and like tender grass, like grass on the housetops, blighted before it is grown.’  (II Kings 19:26)  You get the feeling. 

There are plenty of examples.  Joseph’s brothers knew this sickening dread the instant Joseph, that foreboding Egyptian ruler, identified who he was to them.  They recognized not only his power, but the grave wrong they had done him and what was due them in return. (Gen.45:3) This is an interesting picture of what it will be like to stand before the Judgment Seat of Christ—nothing but dastardly unworthiness on our part, but… He is our Brother and has forgiven.  And that makes all the difference…  But that is a tangent.

Dismay is the temptation Joshua faced when called to lead the Israelites to conquer all of Canaan and claim it as their own. There were giants in the land!  The people back-pedaled fast, figuring it would be better to go back to Egypt.  God must hate them to have brought them to this juncture. (Deut.1:27ff.) They were the picture of dismay.  All but Joshua and Caleb.

Dismay is what all Israel felt--everyone but David, when Goliath stood up!  Another giant in the land. (I Sam.17:10,11)

And it’s what they felt again when hordes of Moabites and Ammonites came to fight their puny numbers. (II Chron.20:15)

It’s easy to find examples of dismay.  I’ve tasted it too—that sickening something in the pit of your stomach.  So, just in case you haven’t, I’ve written down the recipe.

It’s a common sense recipe really.  You just follow your best judgment with the proportions.  Start with a good look at the situation.  What are all the problems you face?  How big are they?  Compare them to your own strengths and aptitudes to see how you’ll measure up… You’ve got to really focus here.  Keep the problems foremost in your mind.

Then forget about any hocus-pocus promises. They’re only words on paper after all.  What you need is solutions you can work toward--a concrete plan of action.

Don’t be deterred by thoughts of what’s happened in the past—times when things all worked out for good.  Those were lucky exceptions. This situation is going to require some brute force, either that or some astute maneuvering.  You dare not leave it to chance.

And what about prayer.  Well, the recipe that always works for me involves praying in my own name.  Do you know what I mean?  This is how I see the situation.  This is what I want to see happen.  And this is how I’d like to see it accomplished.  Now for a game plan. Hmmm….this will require some quiet time to fret and fume.

Well, those are the main ingredients for mixing up a masterful batch of dismay, with a hint of discouragement and a touch of depression.  Oh, and there’s one important instruction for mixing it up properly. Pay careful attention to every thought that flits through your head.  Take each one seriously, as if it were the gospel truth.  Think those thoughts and don’t question their source.  It’ll give your batch of dismay a creative flare.

And that’s that—Be thou dismayed.  Good Luck!

--LS

P.S.  For more detailed instructions, consider the Scripture links included in the above instructions.  They will help to flesh out the complete picture. And should you wish to brew an antidote for dismay, these links will serve that purpose too!

To get a jump on the antidote to dismay, start here!

Storm Surge

“It was now dark, and Jesus had not yet come to them.
And the sea arose by reason of a great wind that blew.” Jn.6:18

It happens. Life gets dark. Storms come. Jesus is nowhere in sight. We strain at the oars to make headway alone. When yikes!-- Is that a ghost? Our worst fears get the better of us and HELP!!! Panic ensues. And then the voice: "Don't be afraid. It's me." WHEW! And gladly we let Jesus into our boat and suddenly we've reached our destination. What was the big deal? [Click here to read John 6]

One moment we're exhausted, haunted by imagined ghosts and about to die. The next we're safely in harbor, the wind either abated or not an issue… The difference? Jesus in the boat.

"Without me, you can do nothing" He says. (Jn.15:5-7)  Funny, how much energy we can expend doing nothing!!!  But when we abide in Him and let His words abide in us—when we let Him in for the boat ride--it's amazing what will be accomplished just for the asking.  Peter admonished his readers as they were undergoing persecution to be self-controlled for the sake of their prayers because the end was at hand. I Pet.4:7

In a similar passage Jesus warns his followers of tumultuous events that will come upon the earth and says they should "watch yourselves lest your hearts be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and cares of this life, and that day come upon you suddenly like a trap." In the midst of "people fainting with fear and with foreboding of what is coming on the world" and "in perplexity because of the roaring of the sea and the waves", we are to be those who walk with confidence, recognizing that "our redemption is drawing nigh!" Lk.21:25-34 How is this possible? Only because we have His words. We know the rest of the story. Heaven and earth will pass away, but not His words…

I listened with sympathy this week to a young guy candidly rationalizing the acceptability of his lifestyle choices. He has chosen to forego 'old school' moral standards. He's got the map upside down and is heading a direction he doesn't expect. Things are pretty backwards, but in a world of other people doing the same sorts of things, he figures it will all work out. He can't see through this fog of relativism. His grandparents wouldn't approve. His girlfriend's parents either. But this is a new generation. It's all good… And I thought, no. I sympathize with the way things 'seem' to be, but it's a sham. I'll stick with the 'old school' any day if that means the tried and true Word of God. When did God get old anyway? He's not a Grandpa! He is forever timeless. His standards don't flex with our changing times and that's a good thing, not a bondage. His Word is a lifeline! And I'm praying for this young starry-eyed couple. They're entering a storm unawares. I'm holding out the hope that they will cry out in the storm and find that Jesus is close by.

Way back when, people were offended at Jesus' words too. He claimed to be better than the sweet manna that had fed their forebears. He claimed to offer eternal wellbeing, true nourishment. They scoffed and thought Him sacrilegious and impertinent to make such claims.  They only followed for today’s loaves and fishes… Many turned back from following Him. This was too much.

But His hand-picked disciples, what did they say? "To whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life!" (Jn.6:68)

This is the one whose words we most need to hear in the storm surges of life. When all is dark, when the rules to live by seem to have changed and we're unsure what to do, when we can't see past the rising waves… we can invite Him into the boat and listen to His reassuring, eternally true words—these words of spirit and life that transcend all craziness of place and time. Operating on any other basis is a useless expenditure of energy at best, and a recipe for destruction at worst. Only the Spirit of God, breathing through the Word of God gives the life and peace that we so need. (Jn.6:63)

And I'm passing on this story of Jesus climbing into the boat, to a new generation. With a three-year old attention span my grandson listened this morning, all cuddled up on Grandmom’s bed, imagining as best he could what it would be like to be in a boat at sea in a storm… and the difference it could make to invite Jesus into the boat. He knows little of storms, or boats, or oceans, or life!  But one day I pray this story will hold him in good stead. With Jesus in the boat, we can weather anything.

--LS

“For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world." Jn.6:33

Postponing Joy

Last week the question came up:

What unfulfilled wants hinder me from being fully satisfied with God and worshipping Him with a joyful heart? In other words: What excuses do I make for postponing joy?

I've been thinking about my strategy for getting what I want—prayer. And I'm asking myself just how long I am going to postpone joy…Until when?

Until my will is done, my kingdom come?...

Until the accuser is silenced and I no longer have to live with his taunts: "what if your God does not come through"?!...

Until faith is sight and what I long to see is in hand?

Just how long will I postpone joy? For as I do I declare that God's promises are not enough, His love is insufficient, and His present work is substandard… Who am I going to trust if not Him? In my own efforts to somehow do something that will work? Or am I operating on the premise that someday I will come up with the 'right' prayer, the magic bullet that will convince God to act posthaste? If only I could learn to pray more… fluently? more 'spiritually'? more strenuously? more persuasively?! More what?!

I read the Lord's Prayer, my model. It does not sound like a marshaling of all my bravado to storm heaven's gates or to vanquish the foe with powerful mantras. It's quite simple really… Our Father, let your name be made much of and your will done without exception and without objection in everything that concerns me…and give me what I need to live today, forgiveness most of all and grace to do it like You do…and come to my rescue when I'm tempted. Keep me out of the Evil One's net, because You are the all-powerful, all glorious King for now and always… In fact it doesn't even sound like it's about my 'power in prayer' at all, but about relinquishing my will to His, daily submitting my needs to Him for whatever provision He wishes to make and just keeping my sights set on who He is, my Father and the Almighty King!

I get confused about this sometimes. Lots of times. Until I find I am doing little more than chewing the fingernails of my soul in restless unease. I become obsessed with 'my part' in dispatching duties that have spiraled beyond my know-how and can-do. There are too many loose ends, unmet ideals, broken pieces, looming disasters. And I can't handle it. I pray, but in distracted, distrustful, poorly composed little bursts that sound more like 'oh dear, oh dear, oh dear', than 'Father, you are great and you are good and I thank you for Your loving oversight of all that concerns me.'

Meanwhile, praise is non-existent, thanks is meager and joy is postponed. What then is left? Condemnation, guilt, temptation to distraction—be it a chocolate bar or a good book—and avoidance of further failure by withdrawing from present opportunity. And of course, anxiety, cloaked as 'godly concern', mind you; but recognizable by the unease that it generates—the opposite of rest.

My sister reminded this week of a winsome book on prayer called, A Praying Life. I actually discovered it last summer to my relief and refreshment. I had even written a review and tucked in some 'best of' quotes. And I had resolved that my prayer life would be different, better, more practical, more real… But something has slipped.

Here I am again. Obsessed by what I can't change. Driven to 'do something'. Desperate to 'make prayer work'… and repenting of my dogged determination to have what I want now, to see before I believe, to distrust the One who holds everything in absolute control and manages all my concerns with loving intention… I am loathe to take my eyes off the situations that alarm me but there is no effective prayer until this is done. As long as I focus on the problems I will hear the enemy's taunts instead of God's assurances and I will have wobbly knees and quailing heart.

I've been reading about Hezekiah, in novel form and in the Bible. The Assyrians were coming. They were utterly fierce and unfeeling enemies. They were powerful, unsurpassed in strength. They trashed every nation they assaulted. They never lost. And they were coming to destroy Hezekiah's nation, just as they had the northern Kingdom of Israel. He had done nothing 'deserving' this. In fact he was well along in reforming the Kingdom of Judah, ridding the land of idols and returning the people to Temple worship of the one true God. And then 'after these things and these acts of faithfulness' wicked Sennacherib of Assyria is invading. He taunts Hezekiah saying: "On what do you rest this trust of yours?" (Is.36:4) "Do not let your God in whom you trust deceive you by promising that Jerusalem will not be given into the hand of the king of Assyria."Is.37:10

And when he can't unnerve the king he resorts to using propaganda to demoralize the people: "Do not let Hezekiah make you trust in the LORD by saying, 'The Lord will surely deliver us'…. Make your peace with me and come out to me." (Is.36:15,16) What's a king to do? What am I to do when my enemy taunts and tempts me to doubt God's care?

Hezekiah's was a terrifying prospect! (Read Austin's historical fiction: Song of Redemption if you need help imagining it!) Normally a king would call for reinforcements, allies, HELP from somewhere, but Hezekiah prayed very matter-of- factly and was instructed not to be afraid but to wait and see what God would do (Is.37) How easy is that? Not very.  It's kind of like: 'In the world you will have tribulation but be of good cheer. I have overcome the world'. Good cheer? But, but…

But what's wonderful about this story is that Hezekiah actually listens to Isaiah's message from God and he in turn is able to strengthen the people to have courage: "With him is an arm of flesh, but with us is the Lord our God, to help us and to fight our battles." (II Chr.32:8) And God goes to bat for them and the Assyrian army wakes up dead. Well, a whole pile of them do. The rest go home! (Is.37:36-38)

That's how I want to respond in the face of fear-- not terrorized beyond usefulness but confidently presenting my petitions to God, listening for His direction, and waiting with expectation for what He will do. Then the battle is his, not mine. And then joy need not be postponed.

"Behold, this is our God;
we have waited for Him, that He might save us.
This is the LORD, we have waited for Him;
Let us be glad and rejoice in His salvation." Is.25:9

Paul Miller outlines in his book that if prayer is going to be a living connection with God we're going to have to be honest with Him about where we are in our thinking. No pretending. He gives a peek into his own prayer time on one occasion:

"I am not confident of your deliverance."

"Until you do save us, give me the faith to wait."

"My inability to wait on you comes from thinking salvation comes from me…"* (Miller,255)

And I see myself reflected in his words. But I also find that God knows what I need to hear. These are some of His words to my heart this week. How can I keep postponing joy?

Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. Jn.15:5

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. Jn.15:9

These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. Jn.15:11

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. Jn.15:16

God calls me to joy. He invites me to abide in His love. He guarantees the flow of sap as long as I stay connected. He invites me to ask and see what He will do. He reminds me He is love, and this is enough.

My calling is to retain bold confidence that He is able to keep what I commit to Him. I can trust Him with everything that troubles me. I can count on His salvation whether I see it in its full glory yet or not. And best of all I can rejoice in the Lord.

If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared.
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope;
my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning…
O Israel, hope in the LORD!
For with the LORD there is steadfast love,
and with him is plentiful redemption. Ps.130:3-7

"Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders." Deut.33:12

How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? How long shall mine enemy be exalted over me? Consider and hear me, O LORD my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death; Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him,…But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the LORD, because he hath dealt bountifully with me. Ps.13:2-6

--LS

 

Can I whet your appetite for Paul Miller's book? Here are some quotes that speak to me…

“Anxiety wants to be God but lacks God’s wisdom, power, or knowledge. A godlike stance without godlike character and ability is pure tension.” (70)

“The great struggle of my life is not trying to discern God’s will,
it is trying to discern and then disown my own.” (157)
“Until you are convinced that you can’t change your child’s heart, you will not take prayer seriously.” (167)

“I often find that when God doesn’t answer a prayer, he wants to expose something in me. Our prayers don’t exist in a world of their own. We are in dialogue with a personal, divine Spirit who wants to shape us as much as he wants to hear us. For God to act unthinkingly with our prayers would be paganism, which says the gods do our will in response to our prayers.” (168)

For more, check out the full review with quotes here.

-----------------------------
*Miller, Paul E.  A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World.
NavPress, 2009, 279pp.

Smiling in the Face of Fear

I’m enroute home in stages,  scheduled to fly out of Anchorage in a few hours, having spent the night here with kind friends.  My body made the mistake of waking up early and my mind of dashing into conjecture about unseen possibilities and missed planes…Bother!

-------------

Now in flight.  ( I didn’t miss it!)…

So began my day of travel home, distracting idle fears with composing a blog, banishing butterflies with busyness.  It’s been a stressful week and a half; I think I’ve collected a few more gray hairs and now I’m ready to unwind.  The surge of acceleration at take-off got me started with tears welling as I thought of what I’m leaving behind, not knowing when I’ll be back or what the situation will be…

I have faced fear this week and stumbled upon two simple strategies to disarm it.  (Thank you Lord!)  It has been disconcerting to me to find I can’t keep fear and anxiety from rising in my heart.  They happen. Especially in the face of the unknown, the unexpected, and the uncontrollable they rise to haunt me.  In a household shaped by Alzheimer’s disease this trio is inevitably present.  What will happen next?  What is he thinking as he walks toward me with that furrowed brow and unfriendly look?  When we’re out walking can I get him to turn around and head back home without calling for help or will he keep right on going into the bush unheedful of my warnings?  What does one do to manage such adult strength tied to a mind unable to reason and full of fears itself?  Every day is a potpourri of the unknown, the unexpected and the uncontrollable. 

But I found that though fear may rise in my heart I don’t have to give it a face or a voice.  I can still smile--a beaming broad smile with a friendly greeting attached.  And in this face that reads: “I like you”, his suspicions are felled and the fierce countenance softens…And I begin to think he likes me too ( :

I learned too the value of singing.  I may be quaking inside as I go about my business unsure of what’s going to happen next, but I can sing anyway—a hymn or chorus quietly…and in the process of voicing words of faith and confidence, my heart is ransomed from the grip of fear.

A smile and a song—simple but effective tools to banish butterflies. It is as though these tangible acts persuade my heart that it is safe and everything will be ok.  Not only my heart, but my dad’s is calmed and reassured.  Everything is going to be ok.  He may not understand the words, but a smile speaks and a song comforts.  This has been my experience.

Ha! I even tried smiling to myself in the night when I woke.  Have you ever tried smiling when worries are on your mind?  It’s counter-intuitive.  But it makes the  worries feel a little silly.  It seems to triggers happy thoughts, grateful reminders of good things… and where did those butterflies flit to anyway?!

So, though I haven’t attained to the fearless posture of the war horse—“he laughs at fear and is not dismayed; he does not turn back from the sword”— (Job 39:22), I’m learning to take baby steps.  And when this toddler looks at her Shepherd and sees His smiling face, it’s not so hard to whistle in the dark and sing a happy song.

“The LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.” Num.6:25,26

--LS

Thanks to all who prayed for me on this journey.  I felt very much buoyed up and sustained, and I’m confident that God is making a way where we are still uncertain of the best path. My mom is a marvel, a testimony to God’s daily grace.  I could not walk in her shoes!  I tried only to smooth the path a little and walk a few steps with her.  There are good things to come; we see the glimmerings.  And His mercies very literally are new every morning!  For this I am grateful. 

Wind and Spirit...

Got out for the last sail of the summer season yesterday as a Southeaster was blowing up!  The sun was shining, it's true,  but the wind was doing a pretty good job of clarifying that summer is indeed gone!
 
So with sails fully reefed,  one hand on the tiller, one set to release the sheets if need be (so as not to capsize!) my skipper was in his glory as we skimmed across the sea. Where was I?  Below deck lending my body as ballast to the high side of the boat, wedged into place so as not to fall from my 'roost'--reflecting on a friend's casual question: "Linda, do you like wind?"

She does. But I wanted to retort at the time, "Have you ever sailed in a Southeaster? ... shielded yourself from a dustdevil?...watched a tornado form listening to the car radio far from home or shelter...or fought a headwind while cycling?!"  No, I don't generally like wind.  I don't like the cold of it or the lonely eerie whine of it in the sails....

But there is another perspective.  The seagulls out my wee windows are wheeling freely in it, gliding just above the water's surface.  They don't seem frazzled at all.

"It's beautiful!" comes the voice of my mate, in awe of the wind's power to carry us effortlessly across the water.  "It's amazing!" he says, peeking down  the hatch to see what shape I'm in.

Just last night a conversation with some ladies came up about wind and tall trees-- to one they are scary and should be cut down. Another loves the sound of the wind in her giant fir trees.

So wedged in my little nook I contemplate what makes the difference.  Why do we love wind or fear it?  I think of the Holy Spirit being likened to wind.

"The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit." (John 3:8) [Later I find out the same word is used in the Greek to mean both wind and spirit!]

I think of the Spirit hovering over the face of the waters at Creation.  Here is order being brought to a formless void.  This is no random gust of terrifying force.  Perhaps it is the unpredictable force of wind I do not like, the destructive potential, the sheer power rendering me helpless...

But I am proud of myself today.  I have not always been so calmly contemplative under sail! There was a time when I would scream, "We're tipping!!"  There have been tense, cringing, praying-for-this-to-be-over  sails.  What has made the difference?  I trust my skipper and my boat now.  We have been through windy seas together and both inspire confidence.  And I think of this as I measure the answer to that question: "Do you like wind?" and I have to qualify my answer.  When I am cozied in wool and windbreaker with warm dry feet,  a brisk wind in my face is scintillating--a delicious token of changing seasons.  When I am warm and safe the wind in the trees or even lashing rain at my window only serves to heighten my sense of coziness.

And what of the Spirit / wind analogy? Is there another question I could ask myself?  Do I welcome God's Wind to will and to do His good pleasure in my life? Am I at ease with my Skipper to sail me through stormy seas,  trimming the sails to maximize the power of the Wind.  Am I eager to recognize 'the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that [I] may know Him better... that [I] may know his incomparably great power for us who believe' (Eph.1:17-19)

Where there is wind there is power.  Where the Spirit is at liberty there is power--"We all, beholding the glory of the Lord are being transformed into the same image--for this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.  where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." (IICor.3:18,17)

What will be my response to the promise of incomparable power unleashed in my life.  I read the story of the Gadarene villagers and their demon-possessed pig herd this morning (Mt.8:28-34)  They recognized Jesus had uncanny power, able to free a man from a horde of fierce demons.  And what did they do in the face of such power?  Terrified, they begged him to leave their town.

In the storm at sea the terrified disciples depaired that they were gonna' die and marveled when Jesus rebuked the  wind and waves.  They were censured for their little faith, and could only marvel,  "What sort of man is this, that even wind and sea obey Him?" (Mt.8:27)

And that's the key isn't it? --knowing this God of ours.  I guess we would all do well to pray Paul's prayer in Eph.1:17-19 (above).  Do I perceive what great power He holds on my behalf, what great power resides in my heart through His Spirit? 

What situations can I carry to Him like the two blind men who came crying, "Have mercy on us, Son of David." (Mt.9:27-31) How did Jesus respond?  A question:"Do you believe that I am able to do this?"  And to their, "Yes, Lord." came His response: a touch to open their eyes and a promise: "According to your faith be it done to you."

So, come wind and weather, as surely they will come,  we would do well to remember the Wind in our sails is bent on our good.  Its power is incomparable but we are in Good Hands.  God's got a Hand on the tiller and one on the sheets and  He's taking us to Glory!!

--LS

 "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.."'--the sons of Korah

"And though this world, with devils filled, should threaten to undo us,
We will not fear, for God hath willed His truth to triumph through us!"--Martin Luther