Groaning inwardly… waiting eagerly

I grow weary of waiting to be more than I am…to overcome weaknesses of personality, of upbringing, of an underlying shortness of faith (for want of a better way to put it).   Will I go to my grave frustrated at my feeble prayer life, for instance?  Will I be forever fearful of the unknown, the “what if”s of life?  Or will I grow out of these things?

“When I grow up…”

When does that time come when we have grown into all the things we had imagined we’d be?  During the busy intense years of family life one can safely hold to dreams  that will be fulfilled when there is more time and leisure to pursue them.  If this intense pace ever slows, by reason of health  or changes of place or occupation there comes an uncomfortable season of reckoning…What exactly am I becoming?  Where is the prayer warrior I dreamed a Grandma would naturally be?  Where the seasoned confident woman who rises to meet her lot in life with a mature faith that doesn’t bow any longer to guilt and fear.

Guilt over being less than I should be lingers like a gray cloud over my now graying head.  I shrug it off at the best of times and try to dissect it at the worst of times.  A sense that I am not ‘enough’ to be worthy of the Kingdom of God dogs my days.  I do not do ‘enough’, pray ‘enough’, contribute ‘enough’…Nor is it for want of time to pursue these ideals!  That has become obvious in my present context of relatively uninterrupted leisure.  Then what is lacking? Do I just need to ‘do more’, set better goals, establish more concise lists, get organized, shun distractions and be more sober-minded?! 

When I air this sense of guilt, my husband reminds me of the verse I know well, (in my head):  There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. My response: ‘Yes, but…’ as I continue to imagine my life as one glaring sin of omission.   How is this not condemnable?  Inexcusable?

My real problem is not an inadequate prayer life, though that is an issue I wish I could resolve.  My problem is unbelief that takes the form of an inner resistance to walking by faith.  I want a system to live by, a clear-cut rule of rights and wrongs, a schedule I can keep, a list that once prayed through is ‘enough’.  I want to ‘do righteousness’ on my own steam and then to know I have done it!  But the Gospel talks of a faith that rests all on what Christ has already done.  It speaks of a life that is  a walk of faith as long as we live in these bodies, a life that calls us to defy and deny the allure of the seen, felt and heard wherever it contradicts what God has said.  Here the accuser of the brethren has no place.  Who can curse the one God has blessed?  Who dares judge the tottering one when God has said He will make him stand?

It occurred to me lately that God is not expecting me to be fearless and confident in and of myself (or to pray without ceasing by my sheer effort) but to believe that He is all I need in the face of things I fear and things that undo me.  He has intentionally not chosen the strong and able, the ‘all-together’ confident ones, the movers and shakers of this world ‘so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.’  (I Cor.1:29)  It is the weak ones who have the potential to best reflect His power.  It is the humble that receive grace to be all He intends. He is not asking for my strength, but for my faith. Meanwhile He works in me to will and to do according to His good pleasure in His good time…

I’m slated to lie on an operating table in a couple week’s time and have surgery on the muscles surrounding my right eye.  When the office called  confirming the appointment my nerves were set a' jangle.  All the worst-case-scenarios flitted through my mind, now riddled with doubt.  Was this really a good idea or should I just ‘leave well enough alone’ and live with things as they are—with eye strain and un-remediated vision issues?  Or should I trust myself to the knife of a skilled surgeon and the hope that congenital defect can be resolved for the better. I had made the decision, trusting this was God’s provision and direction for me; now to stand unshaken in faith.

This is perhaps not so very unlike the life of faith I am called to live.  I have trusted myself to a skilled Surgeon.  He has me under the knife.  He intends to create the image of His Son in me.  The old heart has been replaced with a new one, my spirit has been given the life of His Spirit, he’s renewing my mind with truth and cleaning out old habits and thought patterns that don’t fit anymore…And one day, in the blink of an eye, it will be done.  I’ll rise from the table that is this lifetime, transformed into a new make and model that will never again face fear or cringe in guilt.  I will be ‘like unto his glorious body’, righteous through and through.

I’m looking forward to that hope.  And I’m learning to listen to His Word and His Spirit as they show me ‘this is the way; walk in it’.  And I’m thankful for this forgiveness in which I stand by faith, freed from ‘everything from which you could not be freed by the law of Moses’. (Acts 13:39). I do believe He is at work in my days; Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!

--LS 
Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel…which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—unless you believed in vain.  I Cor.15:1,2

For we through the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness by faith.
Gal 5:5

If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied. I Cor1:19

And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.  Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Rom.8:23-26

Just as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the man of heaven. I Cor.15:49

We know that when he appears we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him as He is. I Jn.3:2

But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ,  who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself. Phil.3:20,21

Brethren, the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen. Gal.6:18

Talk to the Rock

I was reading this morning the account of the Israelites finding themselves thirsty and miserable in the desert of Zin (hmm… could have been the Wilderness of Sin?)…wishing they were dead, blaming Moses for their plight, looking back to Egypt as if it had been Eden. “Why have you made us come up out of Egypt to bring us to this evil place?”  No grain, no figs, no vines, no pomegranates, AND no water to drink.

Did they think to ask for water?

“Ye have not, because ye ask not.” James 4:2

It seems so obvious when I read their story.  All they had to do was ask.  God had brought them here. He would take care of them.  He was orchestrating the paths of their lives to give them opportunity to see His power at work on their behalf.  Avoiding the desert wasn’t the point. Knowing God in the desert was.  He wanted them to know Him, to trust Him, to see His goodness and to love Him.

Instead they complained about their ‘misfortunes’, they blamed Moses’ leadership, and they entertained thoughts of returning to bondage!  All these reactions were characteristic of their underlying problem: They failed to trust God.  Their hearts were hard toward the One who had promised to be all they would ever need—the Great I AM.  He was the only One who could bring them safely through this wilderness into the land of plenty and of rest.   Instead of hanging onto Him for dear life, they clung to their own notions of what life should be and complained and resisted and dreamed of relief from this awful desert God had led them into!

Their refusal to believe that God was with them and for them and committed to doing them good all their days, cost them dearly.  Their generation would never reach the Promised Land; (only their children would live to see it).  They would never rest in plenty and in peace. They would never know lasting joy. 

Their hard hearts kept them wandering for a lifetime in the wilderness as one by one they died there.  Pre-occupied with their discomfort and consumed with discontent, they failed to understand that God was training their hearts to trust Him, always, in everything. They thought much of themselves and very little of God; trusting their own thoughts, they ignored His. A people ‘who go astray in their heart, and [who] have not known my ways.’ was God’s evaluation of them. (Ps.95)

But God did not abandon them to die of thirst. Nor did He wait for them to ask for water (or they may have died of thirst!)  He instructed Moses: Get everybody together to watch.  Take your staff with you, and your brother, Aaron.  And “Tell the rock to yield its water”.  (Numbers 20:8)

Simple.  Talk to the rock.  Again the people would see God act on their behalf.  Again they would have opportunity to know their God and to trust Him.

Unfortunately, Moses strikes the rock instead of talking to it and foregoes living to enter the Promised Land himself.  But God does provide for His people.  There is water for everyone.

The significance of this incident at the ‘waters of Meribah’ becomes clearer in the New Testament.  For that rock symbolized God himself in the person of His Son.  He invites, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’” Jn.7:37,38

God’s answer for all we need is in Jesus, the ‘spiritual Rock’ from which we are to drink all our lives.  (I Cor.10:4)  In Him our roots are to sink down deep and draw up the water of salvation. (Col.2:6)  We were never meant to out grow our need of Him, only to grow up in Him as our roots grow down to abide in His love. From Him will come our life as His Spirit produces in us what we are helpless to produce ourselves.

We aren’t destined to thrash about complaining in a wilderness of unbelief—following wherever our thoughts may lead us.  We can talk to the Rock, yielding our thoughts to His and trusting Him to meet us in our need, whatever it may be.  

And right here, right now, in the process of writing this post, I too see doubts and fears and raw unbelief in my own heart.  I may not be in a wilderness parched with thirst and thinking I’m about to die, but I know thoughts that rise laced with panic… “What’s going to happen to_______.”  And I thrash about in my mind considering options…what to do. what to say. how to solve this problem.  how to answer that query for counsel… ‘What is the Lord doing? Why has it come to this? What now?’  I too doubt.  I too give more credence to my own thoughts sometimes than to His!  And I too need to come to the Rock and trust that here is all I need for life and godliness…right now, in the Rock.

Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer;  from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. Ps.61:1-3

--LS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xD18ra41oKo

…when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock…

“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to his own glory and excellence…” II Pet.1:3

You are complete (fulfilled, filled up) in Him. Col.2:10

"Who led thee through that great and terrible wilderness, wherein were fiery serpents, and scorpions, and drought, where there was no water; who brought thee forth water out of the rock of flint; Who fed thee in the wilderness with manna, which thy fathers knew not, that he might humble thee, and that he might prove thee, to do thee good at thy latter end;” Deut.8:15,16

Oh come, let us sing to the LORD;  let us make a joyful noise to the ROCK of our salvation!…For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand.” Ps.95:1,7

This God--his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.  For who is God, but the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God? Ps.18:30-31

“Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full.” Jn.16:24

Recipe for Dismay

Have you felt it—that sickening discomposure that leaves you weak and confounded and thinking, “What am I gonna do?!” but too overwhelmed to imagine there is anything that can be done…?

Literally ‘dismay’ means to be shattered, to be broken down with fear, ‘shorn of strength’—’like plants of the field and like tender grass, like grass on the housetops, blighted before it is grown.’  (II Kings 19:26)  You get the feeling. 

There are plenty of examples.  Joseph’s brothers knew this sickening dread the instant Joseph, that foreboding Egyptian ruler, identified who he was to them.  They recognized not only his power, but the grave wrong they had done him and what was due them in return. (Gen.45:3) This is an interesting picture of what it will be like to stand before the Judgment Seat of Christ—nothing but dastardly unworthiness on our part, but… He is our Brother and has forgiven.  And that makes all the difference…  But that is a tangent.

Dismay is the temptation Joshua faced when called to lead the Israelites to conquer all of Canaan and claim it as their own. There were giants in the land!  The people back-pedaled fast, figuring it would be better to go back to Egypt.  God must hate them to have brought them to this juncture. (Deut.1:27ff.) They were the picture of dismay.  All but Joshua and Caleb.

Dismay is what all Israel felt--everyone but David, when Goliath stood up!  Another giant in the land. (I Sam.17:10,11)

And it’s what they felt again when hordes of Moabites and Ammonites came to fight their puny numbers. (II Chron.20:15)

It’s easy to find examples of dismay.  I’ve tasted it too—that sickening something in the pit of your stomach.  So, just in case you haven’t, I’ve written down the recipe.

It’s a common sense recipe really.  You just follow your best judgment with the proportions.  Start with a good look at the situation.  What are all the problems you face?  How big are they?  Compare them to your own strengths and aptitudes to see how you’ll measure up… You’ve got to really focus here.  Keep the problems foremost in your mind.

Then forget about any hocus-pocus promises. They’re only words on paper after all.  What you need is solutions you can work toward--a concrete plan of action.

Don’t be deterred by thoughts of what’s happened in the past—times when things all worked out for good.  Those were lucky exceptions. This situation is going to require some brute force, either that or some astute maneuvering.  You dare not leave it to chance.

And what about prayer.  Well, the recipe that always works for me involves praying in my own name.  Do you know what I mean?  This is how I see the situation.  This is what I want to see happen.  And this is how I’d like to see it accomplished.  Now for a game plan. Hmmm….this will require some quiet time to fret and fume.

Well, those are the main ingredients for mixing up a masterful batch of dismay, with a hint of discouragement and a touch of depression.  Oh, and there’s one important instruction for mixing it up properly. Pay careful attention to every thought that flits through your head.  Take each one seriously, as if it were the gospel truth.  Think those thoughts and don’t question their source.  It’ll give your batch of dismay a creative flare.

And that’s that—Be thou dismayed.  Good Luck!

--LS

P.S.  For more detailed instructions, consider the Scripture links included in the above instructions.  They will help to flesh out the complete picture. And should you wish to brew an antidote for dismay, these links will serve that purpose too!

To get a jump on the antidote to dismay, start here!

Has it really come to this?

Never before have I lost my glasses. They've always been stuck to my face, ever since the third grade when I crept into class that first day with my new cat-eye glasses. But now, there are multiple pairs… and where did I put those reading glasses?!

And there are pills doled out at breakfast—Am I becoming my mother?! Pills to make up for missing sunshine. Pills to rejuvenate aging eyes. Pills to ward off aging…(?!)

And what's this minty scent that wafts me through my days? Ben-Gay?! Yes, they still make the stuff, but surely this sore shoulder muscle isn't here to stay…

Hmm… skin cancer, could this little spot be it? I have just read up on what ''Basal Cell Carcinoma" is. Now for the doctor's appointment. Whoever thought about these things before?

Yes, it's really come to this. I'm getting old. I'm past the half-way point and heading for the home lap assuming it will be shorter, harder and less fun than the first half but really not at all clear what it will be like! Family life is all I've known. I peek back over my shoulder at the happy olden days and wonder how I can pack them away in albums and move on before turning into a pillar of salt from the tears!

To compound my sense of loss, my career as a homeschool teacher of 23 years is ending, abruptly, soon. I feel like a student myself with this deadline looming with such finality. Whether I learned all my lessons or not, whether the assignments got done well or not, the term is up. My work is due 'as is' for grading. How did I do? What have I accomplished? There is no grade point average for me this time around. My five graduates will live with the results, for better or worse. (Now there's a disturbing thought!)

And I’m aching for reassurance that I did good. (I know that’s not good grammar, but it’s what a soul wants to know). I don’t need affirmation in the Comment Box, I need to hear from my Supervisor that He is pleased. Only His Words will suffice to displace this sagging feeling that my best was not good enough.

Never mind ‘best’, who can honestly say they’ve done their best day in-day out for the length of a career? Really? No, we bring at our work what we have to bring, ourselves. And being human and faulted with great cracks and fissures, we bring our weaknesses. These too go into the mix that will make up the final product. All these years and lesson plans and books later I have completed my assignment. The term is ended. But I’m not sure I’ve done a good enough job.  Five fledgling adults educated under my watch are trying their wings in the real world while I sit on the sidelines watching, and waiting, and wondering how we’ve done (and what’s next?!)...

Against this backdrop of doubt and insecurity God speaks Words I need to hear: a call, a gentle correction and a healthier orientation. And I must admit, deep down past all my Eeyore impulses and growing (old) pains, I am excited despite myself for what's to come. I am ready for a new stage. As armloads and boxes of books head out the door the bookshelves stand enticingly empty for a new round of learning. Living spaces too are refigured for new purposes. Life is brightened with endless possibilities. I've even found renewed enthusiasm for gardening. Turning soil and pulling weeds in hopes of new life to come is therapeutic!

But just case you too are in a stage not quite comfortable, not quite confident, not quite all you hoped it would turn out to be, may I offer you the words that have encouraged me this week—a call, a correction, and a new orientation?

First there was this call.  A friend unwittingly pointed me here, to Solomon’s love Song, a picture of lover’s bliss and ultimately of Christ’s love for His bride.  May I paraphrase the Lover’s words?

Listen, hear the birds, see the flowers?  It is springtime.  So, ‘arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away….let me see your face, let me hear your voice…catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom.’ 

In each new season of life, Christ calls us to come to Him, to talk to him, to be known by Him, and not to let anything spoil the yield in our vineyard. 

In these winsome words I am reminded of my primary calling, to know and be known by Christ.  This is what really matters.  Many will call Him ‘Lord, Lord’ and point to all their ‘wonderful works’ as evidence of this relationship, but He will profess: “I never knew you; depart from me.” Mt.7:22,23 No amount of work done in His name will make up for a failure to be known by Him.  He’s not so much interested in what I’ve done, as in knowing me.  And so He calls, “come away…let me see your face, let me hear your voice…”.  Here is my invitation to put aside doubts of sufficient worthiness and relax ‘as is’ in the sheer delight of being His desired companion.

A gentle correction came one quiet morning as I sat by the woodstove warding off the chill, reading and thinking, and fretting too, over my failures in this final year of school—technical details and ‘holes’ in our education.  The story of Martha and Mary was before me and I heard Martha’s accusation as I had not heard it before:  “Lord, do you not care that I have to do everything? Tell Mary to help.”  Jesus wouldn’t consent.  He knew Martha was pre-occupied with lesser things and that Mary had found what was important. 

How easy it is to use prayer as a means of getting God to see we need help that He can surely provide.  Surely He will help us accomplish our goals.  How often have I been frustrated this year that school is not what I want it to be?  And even now, short on weeks and long on unmet goals Jesus’ words come with gentle reproof:  Linda, Linda, “you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary.”  And what was that one thing that Mary was doing?  She was sitting at Jesus’ feet and listening to His teaching. 

Martha had been the one to welcome Him into their home, but she’d lost sight of the value of His company, in her conscientious effort to serve Him.   And again a still small voice beckons me to let go my determination of what needs to be done and listen to what’s on Jesus’ heart.  After all, were we to master all the finer points of grammar and writing, of science and math yet not have learned to value time spent with Jesus, what would we have accomplished? 

Lord, forgive my obsessions with lesser things. Thank-you for denying my demands in order to point me to what is most important.  I am grateful.  Make your priorities for my kids mine also.  When your Kingdom and your Righteousness are first in our hearts, the rest will fall into place as you intend. (Mt.6:33)

The final word of encouragement that has given me a fresh orientation came by way of a wise blogger mom at a similar life stage to my own.  In her ‘keeping it real’ way she arrested my attention with these words:  “It is not our calling to ‘raise Godly children’”.  What?!  She went on to clarify by way of contrast:

"It is our calling :

• to be authentic believers and live out the gospel before our children.
• to nurture, instruct, guide, love, and pray for our children.
• to share God's Word, and share the gospel with our children.

God is the only one who can work in a child's heart and change him into a godly person. His Spirit draws them, opens their eyes, and changes and matures them.”

--Gina Smith at http://www.keepinitrealgina.com

 

A subtle shift in meaning, you say?  No, for me it was an essential reminder not to assume a role never intended for me.  It may be my desire for my children to all be more perfect and godly than I, but this is not my job description. It cannot be.  Only God can make any of us godly!  We are called to love, to nurture, to teach and to discipline and perhaps most of all to depend on God to do these things through us and  in spite of us.  We all fail in many ways.  We don’t do the things we ought, the things we wish we had, or even all the things we could.  But God in His great mercy calls us each to Himself, loves us dearly and invites us to know and be known by Him.  And at my age, this is a good place to have come to.

--LS

For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. I Cor.13:9,10

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. I Cor.13:12,13

“My beloved is mine, and I am his…” Sgs.2:13

Aliens No Longer

I spent the last two days largely alone. I thought I liked being alone but this was different. Waking alone, eating alone, wiling away a sunny day alone, spending the evening alone, hitting the hay alone… None of these are things I haven't done alone before but this felt different, like a foreshadowing of lonely days to come--of an empty nest, of noone needing me, of endless discretionary time to manage, yet without a clear objective. But this post is not about garnering sympathetic advice for a case of pre-empty nest syndrome. Something else caught my attention in my aloneness. Just this, that I never feel entirely alone, and that's what makes being by myself tolerable and even enjoyable. The knowing that God is very much with me, always, makes all the difference. At least it has in the past.

But this time there was a difference. Rather than luxuriating in some time to myself, and sweet opportunity for fellowship with my Father, I found this niggling sense of shame going on in the backdrop of my mind—even reinforced with Scripture—like: "Love your neighbor as yourself". Hmm… do you? What would that look like? Nevermind, you're clearly too selfish. Look at so and so, what he did for that other widow lady… why don't you ever do things like that? You're so selfish—should be ashamed of yourself. How can you pretend to be walking in fellowship with the Father when you're obviously bringing no credit to His Kingdom? What are you doing anyway?! Nothing but your own business, thinking about your own household, enjoying yourself when other people are lonely…

OK, so it looks like accusation when I spell it all out here, certainly condemnation. Unfortunately I didn't take time to spell it out while it was going on and it certainly wasn't THIS obvious, just a subtle undertow of my being 'bad', disobedient to the Word, and therefore presumptuous to pretend that I could just walk through the day in happy fellowship with the Father. This dull nagging undertow squelched my enthusiasm for being alone. (After all, being completely alone is more like the definition of hell than of serenity!) Mind you, there was no particular aspect of disobedience or any obvious action that I was balking at taking. Just a sense of my not measuring up and therefore not having a right to enjoy the Father's fellowship. Bummer.

The day passed productively in other respects. Got all sorts of bookwork done and all manner of weeds whacked! And before 'lights out' I made these points in my prayer journal:

1) Maybe I don't like being alone that much after all, but this day has given me greater empathy for some sisters in Christ who live this way much of the time.

2) Yes, I've been feeling guilty about my lonely neighbor. What would loving her as myself look like, Lord? Yes, I'm selfish besides, but selfish can get lonely.

3) I truly don't want to live in disobedience (can't stand this alienated feeling!) no matter whether it's due to fear or indecision or plain old selfishness. Show me what to do, not merely to assuage guilt but to love as You love me, because it's what I'm designed for!

And so the day ended. No brilliant insights. No clear-cut strategy for loving my neighbor better. Nothing to show I was heard, but I was. Strike one for my wily foe.

I found myself in Ephesians the following morning, ironically, praying for my kids to realize who they are and whose they are and to learn to walk in a manner worthy of their calling. Ha! I see in retrospect that the prayer time was as much for me as for them! Here clearly drawn out is the antidote to accusations of unworthiness. I paraphrase:

You WERE dead in sin, walking like the rest of the world, following the prince of the power of the air
(who currently works in the disobedient),
living according to your own passions--
your mental and physical desires,
"by nature children of wrath".

BUT GOD MADE YOU ALIVE, seated you in the heavenlies! You've been saved from death and its lifestyle
as a gift from God,
created afresh for good works
that God prepared ahead of time for you to walk in… (Eph.2)

The passage goes on reminding the Ephesians (and me) where they've come from—once enemies, strangers, outsiders to God's covenant—but that they are now RECONCILED, fellow citizens with the saints, members of the household of God, part of the 'holy temple' God is building to dwell in!

There's not a hint of accusation, or of implication that these believers are sub-standard Christians and ought to be ashamed of themselves. They are 'called out' ones, chosen ones, alive, reconciled, belonging to God's own household! Any word to the contrary is nothing more than a delusion from the prince of this world preying on the child who feels unworthy, for whatever reason. So this is where I stand. Selfish? Yes. Unloving at times? That too. But reconciled to God and seated in the heavenlies, very much alive, without cause to hang my head or avoid His gaze. I am no longer a child deserving His wrath. Strike two for my accuser.

Then comes that glorious prayer! (I paraphrase):

 Strengthen their inner beings with power through Your Spirit so that Christ may dwell in their hearts by faith,
so that being rooted and grounded in this incredible love they may comprehend this vast love of Christ's for them and may know it even though it is beyond comprehension.
Why? So they'll be filled up with God Himself. (Eph.3:16ff)

And all this is asked of the God who 'is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us' to His own glory throughout all generations. That includes my generation and beyond! Amen!!

When Paul resumes his letter he addresses the living out of this magnificent calling as God's own child, urging the Ephesians to 'walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which [they've] been called'. It's not a matter for heroics on their part, mind you, but of humility and gentleness and patience, extending love to fellow believers, supplying their part as joints in a Body that is gifted and directed by Christ Himself.

It seems likely to me that the church at Ephesus hadn't yet 'arrived' (any more than I have) at the pinnacle of a 'worthy walk' because Paul goes on to say 'you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.' He takes pains to explain that for the unbeliever this is a necessary default, but not so the believer! The unbeliever's understanding is 'darkened'. He is actually 'alienated from the life of God!' His ignorance stems from a calloused heart, unwilling to respond to God's grace, given over instead to satisfying his impulses. For a believer to live like this is to live a lie. He may walk in a way unworthy of his calling but he has nevertheless been called, reconciled, brought into God's family. It makes no sense to continue living the old way, brainwashed by deceitful desires (desires that promise what they can't deliver) when there is a new 'birthday suit' to be put on, one that resembles God's beautiful righteousness and holiness (Eph.4:24). There are many particulars of what this new suit will look like (and how to put it on; first, a renewing of the mind) but they can be summed up in: "Therefore be imitators of God, as dearly loved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us…"(5:1,2)

Here's a glimmer of Strike Three… we are dearly loved. It is natural as children to want to imitate our Dad. And when we fail, when we walk as if we belonged to darkness, when we feel we have been 'alienated from the life of God', it is not so. (If our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart and knows all things--I Jn.3:19) God is in fact jealous for our friendship. He's given us His own Spirit to be with us forever so that we can have this kind of relationship! I read it this morning, in James. "He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us" (James 4:5) He even supplies the grace when we are ready to admit our failure. "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." And the steps to take: Submit yourselves therefore to God (shortcomings and all). Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (Aha! Strike Three!) "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you…" (James 4:6-8)

So whether the accusations coming at us are justified or groundless, the solution is in drawing near to our greatest Ally. He's committed to our welfare and nothing can separate us from such love. Such are the things one learns in aloneness.

"Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ ( We're no longer aliens!) and love one another ( We begin to act like dearly loved children!) Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us."
(I Jn.3:21-24)

--LS

"He will give you another Helper, to be with you forever." John 14:16

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.” John 15:9

Awake, O sleeper,
and arise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you! Eph.5:14

Voice Overload

(and the Call Waiting that changes everything)

****

Lord, I'm a little confused. So many voices give instruction for my path. Obedience is the latest. Just obey—but don't see His commands as burdensome.

T.M. Moore talks about the necessity of fearing God and delighting in His commandments, not seeing them as obsolete. I’m not there yet.

Voddie Baucham contends that striving to do more good than bad and hoping for the best outcome is what ‘religion’ is about.  It doesn’t work since we’re by nature depraved.  That's why the spotless Lamb died on our behalf. 'You are powerless—but that's okay because you were purchased’ is how he sums it up.

John Piper has written a book considering all the imperatives of Jesus. He talks about his personal desolation in being exposed as a hopeless sinner, and the relief of the Gospel’s offer—"the Son of Man came to give his life a ransom for many," (Mk.10:45) "not to call the righteous, but sinners" (Lk.5:32).**  I need to grasp all this more fully.

A couple of our friends focus on 'walking in love' as the ultimate test of whether or not we know God. And they work hard at not gossiping so that they can count on their prayers being answered. 

All these voices have good things to commend yet I sit here a little mystified…it's not clear to me where I'm obeying and not obeying, or just what the next step is… I just feel deafened by the clamor.

I remember our long-ago neighbor Eugene—he, the lonely widower, fixing our whole family a wonderful homemade meal—fried chicken, potato salad and the fixin's and even delivering it..  He took The Golden Rule quite literally: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." (hint, hint) I asked him once if he was a Christian? His response, a little taken aback that it wasn't obvious, was: 'Well, I sure try to be one'.

Yet another friend is sure what I need to be doing is evangelizing everyone my life intersects with. It is after all a command, not a choice….

The advice goes on…

Use your gifts.

Mentor a younger woman.

Be mentored by an older one.

Encourage one another. Avoid discouraging words…

These too are voices I've heard this week.

Then there's the forget-about-religion crowd. They write books and blog but tend to downplay the value of the written Word of God. Just get to know the 'real' Jesus. He's great. You'll love him. He's playful. He's with you in the moment. Cool coincidences will prove His nearness. Don't worry about the 'letter of the law' just enjoy Jesus. What He said needs to be reinterpreted in terms of his tone of voice, His wink, His 'just teasing' nature. Don't take life/Jesus/Scripture so seriously.

That's me, serious. Let's see, how shall I change that? Just do it. Right.

“Prophets” of a new stripe are a dime a dozen these days too and everyone's got an 'encouraging word'—a promise of good things to come, a 'word' for your future. Never mind repentance. Obedience? What's that? Just go with the flow. Follow your impressions. Learn to hear the voice and follow. Throw caution to the wind. It's a 'new thing'; don't expect to find it in Scripture….

The super-achiever bio I'm reading doesn't help. A blind prodigy. A super mom. The message: Talent, Determination, Vision, and Confidence will take you places you'd never dreamed of going…Cambridge, Hollywood, TV, American Idol, maybe even a fat Bio all about your accomplishments… And as I read the sinking feeling grows that it's too late for me and mine but just think what could have been… (Failing to consider, that I don’t desire these ends anyway!)

Amid all these voices, I am feeling tired and apathetic, longing only to hear from the One that knows my heart, and knows my inability to carry one more 'should' today…He knows too my self-satisfied pride and my Pharisaical hardness. He knows the fear that holds me back from taking radical responses to inner nudges.

"Call her up and see how she's doing?"

--That might be awkward. I don't know her that well…

And the indecision that leads me to conclude it wasn't a divine nudge, just a 'should' I invented myself and can as easily let go… except I don't. (I feel guilty, and still wonder how she's doing…)

And He knows the actions I do take, because they're all I know to do with this truth that burns in my bones. I am not always diplomatic, not always encouraging. Sometimes truth just jumps out. Offense is taken. I can't remain a 'pleaser' and still a lover of truth. It isn't working.

My Savior knows all these things. His voice is the one I need most to hear. Numbed by message overload. Dulled by physical weariness. Daunted by so much deception at work in the world. Discouraged by my own powerless posture. Today I have no words. But I am listening. I am indeed hopeful. The Way, the Truth, and the Life is not lost and has posted no 'change of address'. He still lives here. In me, with me and for me. He died to redeem me for His Kingdom's sake. He's got the plan. All is well.

------------------Those were my pre-breakfast rumblings---------------------

At breakfast Jim's response was to remind me that the Holy Spirit is sovereign. He works in us to accomplish His good purposes in His good time. There's no rushing ahead of His plan. We are dependents in need of His enabling always and we are ultimately not in control of our lives…

And there was a “call waiting” all the while, a “voice mail” running through the back of my mind that I needed to look up:

Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the LORD hath dealt bountifully with thee. For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, [and] my feet from falling. I will walk before the LORD in the land of the living. Ps.119:7-9

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you [me!] will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Phil.1:6

As breakfast got cleared away and the day had officially begun this confession rose in my heart---I believe He is the Christ, Son of the living God—It's a glorious refrain to a folksy tune by Andrew Peterson. Listen here and rejoice  with me that really all is well when we hold onto what we know to be true while we wait for the ‘what next’ in our walk with Him…

Here’s an excerpt from his lyrics:

And every step of the way his grace is making me;
with every breath I breathe, he is saving me. And I believe.
So when my body's weak and the day is long,
when I feel my faith is all but gone, I'll remember when I sing this song that I believe.
I believe he is the Christ, Son of the living God, my Lord, my Savior. Oh, Hosanna, I believe.***

And yet another Scripture rose as a reminder of where to plant my feet and how to pace myself today in the numbness and confusion of too many voices…

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.

Be not wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.

It will be healing to your flesh
and refreshment to your bones.
Prov.3:5-8

And I am glad for the living God and his living Word that breathes life into my deadness and hope into my apathy. Aren't you?

So I picked up the phone and called that friend-in-the-making.  We’ve got plans to do lunch.  All is well.

--LS

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.” Heb.10:23

_______________________________________________________

*Voddie Baucham, “Truth and the Supremacy of Christ in a Postmodern World” in The Supremacy of Christ in a Postmodern World, p.65-67

**Interview in The Supremacy of Christ in a Postmodern World, eds.John Piper and Justin Taylor, Crossway Publ.,2007, p.149-50 discussing the book: What Jesus Demands from the World.

***Andrew Peterson: "The Good Confession" from Resurrection Letters, Vol.II

****Original illustration is mine but entirely inspired by Olivier Dunrea’s Gossie & Gertie, Houghton Mifflin, 2002.

Walking by Doubt

It’s an age-old battle, the same temptation that lurked in the wilderness when the food and water ran out: “Is God among us or not?!” the people cried. Never mind that He had promised to provide all their needs—His name was after all Jehovah-Jireh. Never mind that they hadn’t gotten around to asking for the obvious: “Lord, we need some water. Lord, we’d like to have some meat, but we are content with this manna if that’s all You want us to have right now.” They were guilty of walking by doubt.

I know a person similarly prone. But this is not the way she wants to live, so this week she is making an about-face and dwelling on things that remind her of her Sovereign Lord’s right to rule and direct as He sees fit--in her life and all the ‘world’ around her. She is committing before the people of God (and her readership) to walk by faith in the God whose ways are beyond comprehending but who deigns to fill her with Himself and the very power of the resurrection, (Eph.3:16-18) and who has promised to flow like living water from her life (Jn.7:38) as she believes in His Son and abides in His words…

Toward that end, I’ve been looking closely at Habakkuk. He knew what it was to be alarmed by circumstances spiraling out of his control. He didn’t just sit there in shocked disbelief. He cried out to God about everything—Lord, there’s violence and destruction, strife and contention everywhere. The wicked are getting away with it. There’s no justice. How long do I have to keep on calling to you about these things?!

God’s answer wasn’t just what he was hoping for. No, problems weren’t going away any time soon. In fact, his own nation was about to be plundered by their worst enemy, the Babylonians. Talk about violence! “They gather captives like sand. At kings they scoff, and at rulers they laugh. They laugh at every fortress, for they pile up earth and take it. Then they sweep by like the wind and go on, guilty men, whose own might is their god!” (Hab.1:9b-11)

Habakkuk’s reaction was to take all this in and reflect on what he knew to be true of God. Conclusion, ‘we shall not die’; this is meant as judgment(1:12). But still, it just doesn’t make sense?! How can an infinitely holy and pure God let this happen, let His own people be overrun by evil greater than their own? Habakkuk determined to stand and watch to see what God would answer. I love this confidence in dialog. He knew his complaints were heard even if he didn’t understand the timing of the answers and didn’t like what he did hear. He kept listening.

God’s answer: Get a pen and paper; write this down. Write clearly, this is important. Ready? And then, among other things this: ‘the righteous shall live by his faith.’ (Hab.2:4) Yes, there was a certainty of judgment coming on God’s own people but following that were the WHOA’s (actually Woe’s) pronounced over God’s enemies. These were to be recorded. Judgment was sure. God’s people would be delivered. But in the meantime, they would have to live by their confidence in God’s Word, not by subjective feelings or impressions.

A similar prophecy had come to Israel under Isaiah’s ministry regarding the coming invasion of the Assyrians. God’s word to them was: “If you are not firm in faith, you will not be firm at all.” Is.7:9 ESV Oh boy! This is a potent antidote for my waffling tendency to doubt! Stability will never come with my eye on circumstance, only when it’s fixed on the Lord who is Himself unchanging.

One morning this week I was reflecting on what it takes to strengthen faith. The Word of God taken to heart was clearly the top priority. (‘Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God’, Rom.10:17). But it seems to me that I am lacking an overarching mindset that is essential to absorbing the Word in a transformative way. How do I ward off doubt when things don’t appear to be heading the right direction?

What do you do, for instance, when people make dumb decisions (well, that’s how you perceive them anyway, and consequences follow and it looks like God’s not got this under control)?  I was reading in I Kings this week, (my ‘regular’ reading, when I’m not doing bunny trails elsewhere), the story of Rehoboam inheriting his dad’s (Solomon’s) kingdom. He followed a bad piece of advice in setting policy with his subjects and next thing you know, POOF, they’ve given allegiance to somebody else and he’s lost the bulk of his kingdom. Oh NO! what’s happening!! If I’d have been his mom I’d have been in deep distress! But Scripture records: “It was a turn of affairs brought about by the LORD that He might fulfill His word.” (I Kings 12:19) There were far-reaching effects of Rehoboam’s foolishness but none that escaped the Sovereign plan of God. And lest crestfallen Rehoboam attempt to undo things and fix his mistake or fight his consequences he was warned: don’t do it ‘for this thing is from me.’

Now, those simple phrases give me great encouragement. They supply the missing ingredient to a mindset of faith. To walk by faith is to trust God’s sovereignty over every circumstance. No wonder it’s His will that we give thanks in every thing, (I Thess. 5:18) because He is in control and will use it for good. Even the bad things He makes to fit His design, for His Kingdom’s sake. The Lord would preserve a remnant despite the foolishness and sinfulness of faithless kings. From the tribe of Judah would come the King of Kings, first as a Lamb to die for the likes of foolish kings and doubting commoners and then as King, to invite them  to join His invisible Kingdom until it comes into plain view. He is the sovereign King weaving His plan, fulfilling His purposes in everything.

So no matter what the situation ‘seems’ I can trust Him. Habakkuk had this one nailed down. He had gone to God with problems to big for him. God’s answers were likely not the ‘salvation’ Habbakuk was hoping for-- this being carried off into captivity by a merciless enemy. Things were definitely going to get much worse before they got better. But God had a plan and it was enough for Habbakuk to know that the Sovereign God was accomplishing His purposes in His people. He does what seems an uncanny thing at this point. He recites a list of potential disasters…let me see, how bad might things get…as the backdrop for his dramatic statement of trust: “Yet will I rejoice in the Lord. I will take joy in the God of my salvation. Jehovah God is my strength.” He rested in the knowledge that God had everything under control and not only that, but that God would care for him and enable him to have the sure-footedness of a deer, to scale the heights and find there his refuge. This God is the author and finisher of my faith too.  How can I walk by doubt when He invites me to ‘tread on my high places’?

Thanks again for sharing the journey with me.  Won’t it be something when we can see how all the things God allows are woven into a shining tapestry for the glory of our Great King?!  It’ll be a sight for sore and straining eyes!

--LS

“For who is God, except the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God? It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the deer, and sets me on my high places.”
Ps.18:31-33 NKJV

Planting Seeds…

When spring springs cold and the ground lies chill and sodden it’s a risk to plant seeds.

The seed may rot in the ground before it can germinate, or be scavenged by a watchful crow.
The seed may sprout only to succumb to ‘damping off’ disease.
The seedling may emerge to beckon a voracious slug and become his lunch.
The plants may fail to thrive for want of a better soil, a better season, a better care-taker.
Mysterious maladies, competitive willow-tree roots, invisible predators may secretly sabotage the whole crop by day. Or by night a blundering bear or hungry deer may un-do a whole season of diligence.

Why plant?

So I hang onto my seeds--boxes and envelopes and recycled plastic containers of them… from last year’s harvest, and the year’s before and before that… My cupboard grows cluttered with them. The names and the pictures stir hopeful ideals. But the planting of them seems so treacherous an alternative, so risky. I fancy the harvests they could produce but cling impotent to their potential in the package, fearful of the sowing. Yet how will a seed have any hope of growing to flower and fruit if it stays in my hoard for ‘safe-keeping’? There is no hope where the seed is not planted. It may seem safe, but it will die inside its shell over time. Its potential can only be realized where risk is taken.

The promises of God are like that. Seeds, that must be planted in the ground of life-as-it-is, by faith. Seeds that must be watched over in undying hope. When the promises of God are planted like seed in ground that is hard, and circumstances that loom destructive, to hope in their fulfillment is a daunting thing.

A child may well be hopeful when he plants his first bean seed in a cup in a sunny window, just knowing a miracle will happen. But what happens when his experience has brought disappointment? Or frustration. Or discouragement. How do we keep hope alive and keep planting those seeds?

I read that tough times are good for us; they breed endurance (how many times have I been reminded that I need to develop perseverance?) But that’s not all; endurance produces ‘experience’(KJV), or in other words, ‘proven character’, which in turn is supposed to yield hope (Rom.5). What then has derailed in my process of learning hope? Why am I so prone to ‘casting away my confidence’? I stood out in the garden leaning on my shovel staring off into space the other day and just felt the whole enterprise was hopeless. Plagued with such insinuations, I struggled through an afternoon of weeding and turning earth and finally managed to transplant some vulnerable seedlings from their safe hothouse to the wide world of the garden. I even tucked some sunflower seeds in the ground in hopes of glory to come. But I must say, the process which is usually a therapeutic ‘fix’ of soil and sun, was a struggle to hope against hope, and keep going. It was oppressive, these almost audible messages of hopelessness that overlaid my every thought and move that afternoon in the garden.

Ha! Did I say I was wondering about the ‘fight of faith’? Is it a real fight? This was more than an afternoon with the plants. It was a ‘heads-up’ to shore up my weaknesses in the area of persevering in hope and learning to ‘take every thought captive’. If the garden be the battleplace, then so be it. I’ve got to get training somewhere! Abraham stands as my hero of faith: “Who against hope believed in hope” (Rom.4:18) His hope lay in the future, secure in God’s unchanging promises. The fruitfulness of my garden has no such guarantee, but the fruitfulness of my life must be pegged to God’s promise and faithfulness—I am heir to Abraham’s promise: ‘Surely I will bless you and multiply you’ and to the sure hope of the ‘glory of God’. The fact that God has vowed it and it’s impossible for Him to lie gives us a refuge to flee to and “strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us” (Heb. 6:18).

Truth is, I find I don’t have all the answers to responding when doubts fly. That day in the garden singing the old hymns was a start. Filling my mouth with thanks to God for every little thing I could see (and the things I can’t yet see that I’m trusting Him for) helped. By prayer, turning all my efforts over to Him for whatever results--only that His Kingdom come, His will be done on this piece of earth and in this heart and in the lives of those my prayers touch… these are the seeds I planted that afternoon while I plugged away at pulling weeds and turning soil and tucking little seedling into place in hopes of brighter days to come…

For every little prayer of faith is a seed planted. As it must be planted in hopes of what is not yet seen, that means I open myself to potential for disappointment--a big bad word in the book of my personality. But I’m called to confidently plant seeds anyway for the Kingdom’s sake. Will cold springs and damp rot, slugs, insidious roots and wild animals thwart my best efforts? Perhaps. My call is to be faith-filled, to persevere, and to plant the seeds God supplies. The rest is up to Him.

And seriously, I do have some beans to get planting, come what may, today!

--LS

‘Though the fig tree should not blossom
And there be no fruit on the vines,
Though the yield of the olive should fail
And the fields produce no food…
Yet I will exult in the LORD,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.’
Hab.3:17,18


‘Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,
and endurance produces character,
and character produces hope,
and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.’ Rom.5:2-5


'Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.' Ps.31:24


'Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.' Ja.5:7,8


'For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.' Heb.10:36

'Now He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness; you will be enriched in everything for all liberality, which through us is producing thanksgiving to God.' II Cor.9:10,11

P.S. If you’ve read all the way down here to the very last morsel, may I bless you with some faith-building  music I found this week? Laura Story has her own story of trusting God through real trials—her husband is facing a brain tumor.  The  songs of trust and praise that this has yielded are precious.  A playlist of her songs is available on YouTube at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ&feature=BFa&list=AV4oVf-d_DwKDCIGIf8Ri4NE-9jfiELxTu&index=1

Don’t miss “Blessings”   and  “Perfect Peace” (my favorites)!

 –LS

A Place to Rest

Have you ever puzzled over how it works that we are in a ‘fight of faith’, armed to the hilt against the ‘schemes of the devil’, ever alert and persevering, ever praying for ‘all the saints’… and yet called to REST. In fact we’re called to ‘strive to enter that rest!’ I don’t know about you but I find this a challenging balancing act.

On carefree days, preferably with the sun shining and ‘everything going my way’ (and Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder), I can see quite clearly that rest has to do with maintaining a calm and confident faith in God that knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that He is both present and working for my best good in everything.

But then there are those days… when the body has its ills and the weather is dismal besides. Or perhaps prayers don’t appear to be heard and circumstances seem daunting in one way or another. Then the enemy of our souls, not known to ‘play fair’, zeroes in on our weakest points and whispers his toxins in our ears… gloomy things, hopeless things, reminisces that make the present seem disappointing, fearful prognosis—dismal thoughts to drag down soul and body. The interplay of physical and spiritual is not always obvious. Yes, maybe a good nap and some heart-pumping exercise would do wonders to clarify the situation. I’ve found these to be spiritually beneficial solutions at times. But sometimes there is more to it. When weariness washes desire for everything away, even the passion of one’s calling (and the nap doesn’t fix it)… look out for sabotage.

The temptation may be to ‘throw in the towel’ on some ministry we thought was our calling…or to just shrug and not care about anything…or to grumble, whine, stone somebody, or go to bed for the rest of the day! How do we resist? This is where it helps to have that foundation of trust in God’s goodness and presence with us, firmly laid. The active acknowledgment of these truths will keep the muscle in our faith and prevent us from being easy prey for the enemy’s taunts: “Where is your God?” and the subsequent accusations he knows best how to tailor to our weaknesses.

What do I mean by ‘active acknowledgment’? Well, I’m thinking along the lines of thanksgiving and praise and rejoicing in the Lord, who after all is my strength. I keep being brought back to these themes.
I’ve been memorizing Psalm 32 with Rachel. This is David’s celebration of finding forgiveness after a wearisome harboring of sin. It concludes: “Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!” He’s excited! Reciting this aloud with enthusiasm is counter-intuitive some school mornings. But it surely is a safeguard against the gloomies! Another line in this psalm says: “You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance.”(32:7) What is that supposed to mean--'shouts of deliverance'? I haven’t done any formal word studies or read any commentaries on this but as I mulled it over I pictured God calling out something like: “Over here! Grab the lifeline… here’s the way out” and I thought of Paul’s words about temptation: ‘and He will make a way of escape that you may be able to bear it’ (I Cor.10:13).

If I believe this, my response will be to look to God for the way out. If I don’t… well, likely I’ll sound like the thirsty Israelites in the desert: “Is the LORD among us or not?” (Ex.17:7) They seemed to even exasperate God! After all He’d done to show them His loving care and continuous presence, had they forgotten everything? (Have I?) Even the cloud over their heads (while they complained) sparing them from the blazing heat of noonday sun in the desert? And now they’re ready to stone Moses and run back to Egypt’s ‘free’ food. God did not look lightly on their whining. He saw it as rejection of Himself:

“…you have rejected the LORD who is among you and have wept before him, saying, ‘Why did we come out of Egypt?’” (Numbers 11:20) 

And since trusting in His care was their only hope of getting to a place of rest, they got to wander restless for the remainder of their lives.

I don’t want that to be my lot! I don’t really want to be a doubting whiner who panics every time life seems rough. God has chosen to call me His own and to stick with me through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer… committed to my eternal well-being. He invites me to bring my requests with the assurance that He hears each one (I Jn. 5:14,15). He supplies me with all the armor I need for any battle and the sword of His word besides. He asks me to stand firm in faith, nothing flinching, resting in His strength… Surely I can rest in His commitment to me and learn to live out my vows in return. He is mine, and I am His. Nothing can separate us. Will I struggle in this union or learn to rest? Surely I pay Him the highest honor when I choose thanksgiving and turn my gaze His direction when temptation oppresses.

“Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving, and perform your vows to the Most High, and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.” (Ps.50:14)


“The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to the one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God.” (Ps.50:23)


David had to talk to his soul at times when oppression mounted and good times seemed just a memory “Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?... while they say to me all the day long, “Where is your God?” (Ps.42:9,10) but his thirst was set on God: “My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.”(Ps.42:2) and his hopes were all there too. That’s the way I want to live. And I thank you for listening in this post as I have given my own soul a ‘talking to’ from all the words that have encouraged me this week.

--LS



“Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you and evil and unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God.” (Heb. 3:12)



“By this I know that you delight in me: my enemy will not shout in triumph over me. But you have upheld me because of my integrity, and set me in your presence forever.” (Ps. 41:12)

The Good Fight

The fight of faith is something I’ve been pondering.  What is it?  How does it work?  I have snippets of reflections spread all over pages of random days… I’ve tried in vain to push away distractions and get down to pasting them together into a coherent understanding but this project is eluding me.  Grandbabies are nearby—sleeping, wiggling, making little dream smiles…posing for pictures, wanting to see Grandmom’s pictures, ready to read a book…how is a Grandmom to concentrate, or even want to? 

And there are the ongoing conversations with skeptics that actually fuel my motivation to put faith in coherent words—these ones who are pawns in the battle without knowing it, who are defenseless against the evil one’s darts.  These conversations too have drawn me away from organizing my notes…So today I will submit to you the snippets I have gleaned, a mosaic of thoughts on the fight of faith.  And I welcome your gleanings on the subject.  How involved are we in this fight?  How can we be better warriors?  How do you fight the good fight of faith?

Here are some of the verses I’ve been pondering:
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Eph.6:12)

“For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,” (IICor.10:3-5)

“Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called.” (I Tim.6:12)
“In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one:” (Eph.6:16)

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, (I Pet.5:8,9)

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. (Eph. 6:13)

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (Ja.4:7)
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So we’re in a battle, unseen though it be.  The objective?  To lay hold of LIFE--that eternal abundant sort of life of which we are heirs!  What’s going to deter us?  Fiery darts seeking to implant… Unbelief. Fear. Worry. Doubt.  They come like flaming suggestions to our minds at the worst of moments: “Oh no! What am I going to do?!” …Did God really say…?  Is He really good?  Can you trust Him for this situation? Where is He in this anyway?!  Don’t you think you’d better ‘do’ something! …and on and on.  What is one to do?

How to deflect them?

By lifting up the shield of faith.

How’s that?  Well, how about if I respond by taking captive my run-away thoughts and making them submit to this truth:  ‘I know whom I have believed and that He is able…to keep, to rescue, to provide, to heal, to do whatever is best in and through my life in this very moment.’  This is a declaration of faith.  I belie my unbelief when I am wracked with worry, fear or guilt.  As a favorite writer of mine puts it: “Every time fear freezes and worry writhes, every time I surrender to stress, aren’t I advertising the unreliability of God?  That I really don’t believe?” (Ann Voskamp)

Her recommendation is to start by giving thanks for every evidence of God in this moment.  That makes a great faith-starter.  Giving thanks too for a million moments of God’s faithfulness in the past increases my trust for the future.  [These thoughts are from her first book, hot off the press: One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are]

I was just reading a negative example of this in the adventure of the disciples at sea with Jesus when the big storm blew up. (Luke 8)  Their reaction: Panic!  “We’re gonna die!”  After all, Jesus was asleep and the storm was a doozer.  They knew boats and water but apparently not too much about their Master.  Jesus woke, calmed the seas and asked bluntly: “Where is your faith?” What would I have done?  Likely the same thing.  But what sort of response was Jesus looking for?  What would have been the indicators of a stalwart faith in the middle of a terrifying storm? Whether the temptation is to fear, to worry or to panic how do I combat it?  Yes, they were in real danger and yet, the Lord of all creation was with them in the boat!  Easy to think they were pretty silly and short-sighted but then again…that same Lord who possesses all authority in heaven and earth and sends me out to represent him to the world with the unending  promise of  “and behold, I am with you always, right to the end of the age”…that same Jesus is with me.  Unseen, maybe. But as I learn to look for the evidences of His presence, with thanksgiving, and declare His words to be true, my focus will change and faith will rise to ward off fear.

It’s all comfortably theoretical when I see it in someone else’s story. The ‘proof of the pudding’ will be in the storm.  Or maybe just in the day-to-day thought patterns that crisscross my mind?

One other thing I noticed in this story was the exchange of fears.  First the disciples feared the storm. Then when Jesus calmed it “they were afraid, and they marveled, saying…’Who then is this, that he commands even winds and water, and they obey him?’”  Could it be that a rightful fear of God, an awe of His power, will help us in this fight of faith to which we’re called?  When the darts come there’s opportunity to let them stick and ignite all the wrong responses—or to turn my attention to the greatness of my God, and His presence with me in everything.  The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom and of knowing the Love of God that is without end.  Any other fear is nonsense in the light of who He is: 

When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. But he laid his right hand on me, saying, "Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades. (Rev.1:17,18)

We are blessed to know an unseen reality.  For the skeptic who denies God’s existence or even the theist that acknowledges an uninvolved irrelevant god, there is no shield of faith.  The only reality is what can be seen and measured, reasoned and calculated.  Beyond that is nothing.  So they stand confident where they should tremble.  Their enemy and ours is unseen and no friend of their souls.  But unaware of his wiles, blindfolded to his tactics, they whistle along in the dark, pawns on a battlefield without defense.

I can be a practical atheist, responding to what I see, oblivious to Kingdom interests in my every day matters.  George Herbert put it this way:

"The man that looks on glass,
On it may stay his eye;
Or, if he pleaseth, through it pass,
And then the heavens espy.”

That is to say I can get hung up on my circumstances and see the ‘flesh and blood’ around me as the trouble.  I can view the physical aches and pains and storms of life as obstacles to LIFE as intended or I can look through the physical woes, the people and circumstances and discover God at hand, permitting, controlling, fighting my battles as I submit by faith to His rule in my life. I’m convinced that learning to see rightly is a huge part of the battle of faith we are called to fight.

I’m reminded of the meat section of the grocery store where we shopped when I was a child. The glass separating the shopper from the work of the butchers is a mirror on the shoppers’ side.  All the shopper sees is the tidily packaged meat, the fellow shoppers, the groceries to buy.  But behind that mirror lies the source, the crucial activity that stocks the shelves, the blood and the guts.  Mind you, sometimes, if you were standing at just the right angle, you could dimly see through the mirror to this other world your parents said was there…

That’s how the eye of faith sees, believing in the world that lies behind our mirrored glass.

It sees the unseen—the reality of God with us, even when His presence can’t be felt.
 
It trusts that God is good and in control.when ‘bad’ things happen…

It holds fast the Word of God in an honest and good heart, patient for the fulfillment…(Luke 8:15)

Fenelon was a saint of the 17th century.  I just picked up a modern update of his letters titled:  Let Go.  I like his analysis of faith:

“There are two peculiar characteristics of pure faith.  It sees God behind all the blessings and imperfect works which tend to conceal Him, and it holds the soul in a state of continued suspense.  Faith seems to keep us constantly up in the air, never quite certain of what is going to happen in the future; never quite able to touch a foot to solid ground.  But faith is willing to let God act with the most perfect freedom, knowing that we belong to him and are to be concerned only about being faithful in that which he has given us to do for the moment.” –Fenelon, Let Go,27.

And for this moment, that’s the sum of my ponderings on the fight of faith.  I close with one last word from Fenelon:  “Above all things, be faithful to the present moment, doing one thing at a time, and you will receive all the grace you need.” (p.29 ) 

Must be off to capture the present moment, by faith.

--LS

Fresh Joy!

“The meek shall obtain fresh joy in the Lord.” Is.29:19

Fresh Joy-- I love those words.  Fresh--like doughnuts fresh-baked first thing in the morning, after working an all-night shift... [thanks to my son for that word picture].  Or if you prefer, fresh home-baked bread hot from the oven...Fresh!  I have found fresh joy repeatedly this week and each time it has come upon me rather unexpectedly.  Joy is like that I think--like a butterfly that eludes capture but then when you least expect it may come to light on your shoulder.  A curious sparrow came flitting up to me just that way as I was having a quiet sit in the sunshine one day this week.  Unexpected. And just as quickly it flitted away when I  reacted to it startling me!  Joy is not so flighty thankfully but it does take me by surprise sometimes.


OK, so having recognized that the best growth happens in a context of restful faith, (see "Calmed and Quieted"), I set out to rest this week--not to stress about my state (or that of those I feel responsible for)...but to trust that God has it all under control.  Nearly fell on my face Day 1...overwhelmed, discouraged by a tutorial on a skill I'm trying to learn.  I read too far, too fast and my new-found hope and confidence that 'I can' was quickly eroded.  A little pilot project became a daunting thing.  I was paralyzed into spending an evening opening and closing instruction books, getting out papers, prototype pictures, paints, putting them away and finally making some messy doodles that confirmed my worst fears: "I can't"... Bedtime found me journaling to myself (This is a writer's form of talking to oneself, only it doesn't make you look as crazy, if 'looks' count!).  And the Spirit seemed to blow in gently, thoughts that balanced and stabilized my own.  Practical, hopeful ideas.  And I fell asleep at peace...


Next morning I was mulling over this process of growth that seems to be a coupling of intentional practices with the provision of Divine interventions.  I am, in fact, working my way through two books right now that complement each other on this very topic.  Authentic Faith  majors on what Thomas terms the 'authentic disciplines'--things God brings into our lives to grow us.  And Renovation of the Heart in Daily Practice (Willard) puts its focus on the means we can use to make growth intentional.  (One day when I have digested both, maybe I'll have more to say on the mysterious 'mechanics' of growth.) But one thing stood out as I considered this-- the necessity of faith as a starting point.  When I view myself (or my 'charges') as my responsibility to 'fix' through some application of  'discipline' it takes me right out of that 'calmed and quieted' state. I must do 'something', anything, at least keep anxious watch, sit on the alert growling...And suddenly the focus is all wrong.  Who am I watching? Who am I trusting?


One day I sat reading the incident of Peter walking on the water (Matthew 14).  He was fine until his focus turned to himself and the impossibility of this thing he was called to do: "Come."  Initially He believed and walked on water.  Then he looked around in disbelief and started sinking.  Jesus' words cut right to my heart:  "Why did you doubt?", as though he was waiting for my answer.   And I knew.  It was, "because I looked at me out here and thought, 'Who am I to be doing this?!  What am I doing out here in this?!'"


Who am I?  Wrong question. Dangerous focus.   Meanwhile, the disciples back in the boat were fixated on Jesus and had quite another reaction.  "They worshiped Him", saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."  As long as I am self-conscious and feel responsible, there will be no rest, no joy, no faith. (I think  one of the greatest joys of heaven will be self-forgetfulness!)  But when I look at who He is and trust In Him it's a whole 'nother story: "For our heart is glad in Him, because we trust in His holy name." (Ps.33) Quiet joy entered in the knowing.


"Glory in His holy name; Let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice!" (I Chronicles 16:10) 


I was re-reading Abraham's story in Romans 4 and noticed another possible reaction to this looking-at-myself business.  It was said of Abraham that  "he did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead... "  Now remember, he's been waiting for literally YEARS for God to make His promise good and give him a son.  But he looks at himself and actually grows stronger in faith. How's that?! It says, "no distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as He gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what He had promised." --Rom.4:19,20  Abraham's faith wasn't hindered in considering his own weakness because it only served to highlight the incredibleness of God's promise!  Can my weakness do that?  Can I consider who I am in all my limitations and let it fuel praise to my amazing God?  Yes, I fall short of His glory and yet  "I am justified by His grace as a gift...to be received through faith." (Rom.3:23-24) And I am now clothed in His righteousness. "He made Him who knew no sin to be made sin for us that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him." (IICor.5:21) I came away from meditating on these things with an old song dancing through my heart, fresh joy springing up. I haven't heard it in YEARS. If you know it sing along:

A Friend I have, called Jesus, Whose love is strong and true,
And never fails howe'er tis tried, No matter what I do;
I've sinned against this love of His, But when I knelt to pray,
Confessing all my guilt to Him, The sin-clouds rolled away.

[Now the wind-up for the lilting, joyful chorus...wish you could hear it sung this way...I only managed to find a you-tube piano accompaniment that is rather staid and a little slow.  It lacks the lilt of  a robust hymn sing,  but the words and tune are here.  You can sing along and add the 'spark'  yourself!

It's just like Jesus to roll the clouds away,
It's just like Jesus to keep me day by day,
It's just like Jesus all along the way,
It's just like His great love.

Let me give you one more verse:

Sometimes the clouds of trouble Bedim the sky above,
I cannot see my Saviour's face, I doubt His wondrous love;
But He, from Heaven's mercy seat, Beholding my despair,
In pity bursts the clouds between, And shows me He is there.*

I love that!  Fresh joy!


Hurrying through my Bible study lesson on contentment another afternoon this week, I turned to Isaiah 29 and found this gem: "The meek shall obtain fresh joy in the Lord." The meek.  This is the one that gets in His yoke (as per Matt.11:28-30), watches Jesus demonstrate what Kingdom living is like,  and walks confidently with Him while He takes me there .  There's joy here as well as rest.  


As I  sit leafing through the pages of my week I am so impressed at God's quiet interventions--through His Word mostly, bringing to life the thoughts I need to hear, injecting faith and inspiring fresh joy. It's really quite amazing how He walks with us so gently and yet so strongly.  It's not the Garden,  but it's a foretaste.  We live in the presence of a Living God who really and truly wants to live with us, to dwell with us, to be our God and have us as His own precious possessions... I saw this again in His words in Exodus: "I brought them out of Egypt that I might dwell among them." (Ex.29:46) He actually wants to live with us, to walk with us, to talk with us...  "In His presence is fullness of joy."  I've mostly thought of this as a future reality but really,  He is with us now, and as we learn to believe it and walk accordingly there will be fresh joy for the taking!

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Care for a slice of bread hot from the oven?  Call ahead and we'll share some fresh.


--LS


 *"It's Just Like His Great Love" --Words by: Edna Worrell,  Music by: Clarence Strouse, 19th century.