Groaning inwardly… waiting eagerly

I grow weary of waiting to be more than I am…to overcome weaknesses of personality, of upbringing, of an underlying shortness of faith (for want of a better way to put it).   Will I go to my grave frustrated at my feeble prayer life, for instance?  Will I be forever fearful of the unknown, the “what if”s of life?  Or will I grow out of these things?

“When I grow up…”

When does that time come when we have grown into all the things we had imagined we’d be?  During the busy intense years of family life one can safely hold to dreams  that will be fulfilled when there is more time and leisure to pursue them.  If this intense pace ever slows, by reason of health  or changes of place or occupation there comes an uncomfortable season of reckoning…What exactly am I becoming?  Where is the prayer warrior I dreamed a Grandma would naturally be?  Where the seasoned confident woman who rises to meet her lot in life with a mature faith that doesn’t bow any longer to guilt and fear.

Guilt over being less than I should be lingers like a gray cloud over my now graying head.  I shrug it off at the best of times and try to dissect it at the worst of times.  A sense that I am not ‘enough’ to be worthy of the Kingdom of God dogs my days.  I do not do ‘enough’, pray ‘enough’, contribute ‘enough’…Nor is it for want of time to pursue these ideals!  That has become obvious in my present context of relatively uninterrupted leisure.  Then what is lacking? Do I just need to ‘do more’, set better goals, establish more concise lists, get organized, shun distractions and be more sober-minded?! 

When I air this sense of guilt, my husband reminds me of the verse I know well, (in my head):  There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. My response: ‘Yes, but…’ as I continue to imagine my life as one glaring sin of omission.   How is this not condemnable?  Inexcusable?

My real problem is not an inadequate prayer life, though that is an issue I wish I could resolve.  My problem is unbelief that takes the form of an inner resistance to walking by faith.  I want a system to live by, a clear-cut rule of rights and wrongs, a schedule I can keep, a list that once prayed through is ‘enough’.  I want to ‘do righteousness’ on my own steam and then to know I have done it!  But the Gospel talks of a faith that rests all on what Christ has already done.  It speaks of a life that is  a walk of faith as long as we live in these bodies, a life that calls us to defy and deny the allure of the seen, felt and heard wherever it contradicts what God has said.  Here the accuser of the brethren has no place.  Who can curse the one God has blessed?  Who dares judge the tottering one when God has said He will make him stand?

It occurred to me lately that God is not expecting me to be fearless and confident in and of myself (or to pray without ceasing by my sheer effort) but to believe that He is all I need in the face of things I fear and things that undo me.  He has intentionally not chosen the strong and able, the ‘all-together’ confident ones, the movers and shakers of this world ‘so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.’  (I Cor.1:29)  It is the weak ones who have the potential to best reflect His power.  It is the humble that receive grace to be all He intends. He is not asking for my strength, but for my faith. Meanwhile He works in me to will and to do according to His good pleasure in His good time…

I’m slated to lie on an operating table in a couple week’s time and have surgery on the muscles surrounding my right eye.  When the office called  confirming the appointment my nerves were set a' jangle.  All the worst-case-scenarios flitted through my mind, now riddled with doubt.  Was this really a good idea or should I just ‘leave well enough alone’ and live with things as they are—with eye strain and un-remediated vision issues?  Or should I trust myself to the knife of a skilled surgeon and the hope that congenital defect can be resolved for the better. I had made the decision, trusting this was God’s provision and direction for me; now to stand unshaken in faith.

This is perhaps not so very unlike the life of faith I am called to live.  I have trusted myself to a skilled Surgeon.  He has me under the knife.  He intends to create the image of His Son in me.  The old heart has been replaced with a new one, my spirit has been given the life of His Spirit, he’s renewing my mind with truth and cleaning out old habits and thought patterns that don’t fit anymore…And one day, in the blink of an eye, it will be done.  I’ll rise from the table that is this lifetime, transformed into a new make and model that will never again face fear or cringe in guilt.  I will be ‘like unto his glorious body’, righteous through and through.

I’m looking forward to that hope.  And I’m learning to listen to His Word and His Spirit as they show me ‘this is the way; walk in it’.  And I’m thankful for this forgiveness in which I stand by faith, freed from ‘everything from which you could not be freed by the law of Moses’. (Acts 13:39). I do believe He is at work in my days; Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!

--LS 
Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel…which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—unless you believed in vain.  I Cor.15:1,2

For we through the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness by faith.
Gal 5:5

If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied. I Cor1:19

And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.  Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Rom.8:23-26

Just as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the man of heaven. I Cor.15:49

We know that when he appears we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him as He is. I Jn.3:2

But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ,  who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself. Phil.3:20,21

Brethren, the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen. Gal.6:18

We’ve outgrown our life plan…

It’s the time of year for Christmas letters, time to re-cap what has transpired month-by-month in our lives.  Births and deaths, weddings and vacations, accomplishments and happy memories.   Meanwhile we relegate the sad, the bad, and the hopeless to wait in the closet till the Christmas letters are signed and mailed, or till we’ve pressed ‘Send’ in our e-mail window.  Everything’s looking good in our house…. (Hmm…but that’s another topic for another day) As for our house, we’re getting ready for two things this year: Christmas, and moving.

I was looking back to see what I said in our Christmas letter last year.  I liked it so well I thought I could use it again this year!  Just fine tune a few details.  Add a year to the new grandbaby’s life. Add a wedding. Add a new job for one of our kids.  Put a chick back in our empty nest and voila.  Not much has changed.  In fact last year at this time I wrote:

So… we are enjoying a quiet winding down of our first year with just the two of us rattling around in this big house. Having gotten past the initial withdrawal ache we are enjoying the chance to rediscover 'us' as we wonder what to do next…Our life goals were evidently too limited; we're only 52 and have run out of ideas! Thirty years ago we started our family and now we're back to square one, alone together again. We sure are glad we still like each other!! We want our lives to be about family still and it sure would be nice to live a little nearer to those precious grandkids…so we're asking the Lord to direct our steps with that in mind.

We’ve been thinking about a move for a long time.  The grandkids just keep growing up without us! But the truth is, we’re comfortable here.  Beautiful surroundings, minimal cost of living, maximal leisure time, low stress…low crime rate--safe place to raise a family.  We have enjoyed eleven years of retreat in this place (and what a spot for a retreat center it could be!)  It’s not that we haven’t been willing to move, at least in theory.  And little by little we’ve been weaned from our first loves here.  My hiking adventures largely died with Louie three years ago.    Jim’s sailing ventures ended with the sale of our boat last year.  [To conclude that story, she actually sank in the Strait last spring during a race at the hands of her new owner!]  Our sailing era is over.  

We have found fellowship here and purpose among God’s people, and we have been refreshed, but there is a sense that it is time to move on.  But still… we are here, asking God to move us, lead us, show us, what more He has for us.  And we wait…

I’ve been mulling over Psalm 32:8’s description of what it means to be directed by God: 

“I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.  Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee.” (Ps.32:8 ) 

What does it mean to wait on God for direction with understanding?  Not idle and mute.  Not stupid and stubborn.  What does it mean to be guided by His eye?

Our recent car crash shook us with the reality that life is indeed short.  We are not guaranteed endless years of health and leisure to come and go as we please.  Our lives are not our own.  We are God’s own possession for His purposes.  And we want to be holy people—not just in the sense of ‘what we don’t do’ but in the sense of being all that we are meant to be. 

For what has He designed us in this stage of our lives? 

I’m a homebody.  I love having my own home, my own quiet circles of family and friends, my own little world… I am comfortable here.  But I have always viewed life on this earth as transitory.  No one stage is guaranteed to last a lifetime.  Perhaps this comes from our early married days in missions; we moved constantly, never expecting to put down permanent roots.  Despite being a homebody at heart, finding my ‘dream home’ would be a hazard for me.  I don’t want my heart to be entangled with a place.  I don’t want my security to be based on having found a comfortable routine, a predictable lifestyle or a familiar circle of friends.  Where is the living by faith once I’ve found my ‘dream home’?  Most of all I don’t want to be ‘as the mule’ who must be coerced to move or he will not.  I want to be willing and ready to gladly lay down my love of home and go wherever…

And that’s what I’m pondering these days, as our talks of moving become tasks of getting ready to actually move.  We have laid down more roots here than ever before.  Literally.  Up until this move our fragile sense of permanence has always prevented us from planting trees.  Here we have planted scores of trees—dozens and dozens of firs, seedling maples that tower over us already, and fruit trees that are just coming into their fruitful years… I understand the longing for the permanence of home, to watch trees and kids grow through all the seasons of life.  But we were never meant to love houses and lands and the comforts of home to such an extent that ‘Follow Me’ precludes leaving these. We were never intended to feel completely comfortable in this world.

So as we sense a move coming up we are sorting and sifting the ‘stuff’ of our lives that has brought us a degree of security but which now weighs us down.  And we are asking: Will we need this to fulfill God’s calling on our lives?  

I thought this part would be easy—this knowing what to take.  When it was about furniture, the choices were more clear.  Ages ago we glibly discussed what furnishings we would take if ever we moved.  Since we started out here with next to nothing—sleeping bags and toiletries, random pots and dishes, we have few sentimental attachments to furniture.  But then we officially moved up with a moving van and there were beds and the antique kitchen table and my heirloom rocker and of course, my desk.  And the rest has just grown on us over the years, as ‘stuff’ is wont to grow in a culture that values ‘things’ as the measure and means of happiness.  And we have been carried along on this tidal wave of ‘blessings’.  Imperceptibly my ‘stuff’ and my comfortable place have become a source of security so that the thought of abandoning it gives me shivers in the night.  What if…Jim dies, the economy crashes, we can never own a house again, we hate living in Alberta… What if…

 

….without you I fall apart…

The two songs that brought me peace on the night when my worries got the upper hand were these:  “Lord, I need you” and “My Hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness.  I DARE NOT trust the sweetest frame (or home, or comfy situation) but wholly lean on Jesus’ Name.”

Never mind the modern adage to ‘follow your heart’.  Mine is a traitor.  It loves its simple comforts and predictabilities.  It is bound to set its hopes on things seen and to quiver at possibilities unseen. It loves the illusion that everything’s under control. It isn’t. Not under my control anyway.

Have you listened to your heartbeat lately? (another example of something not under my control!)  Not just that physical one that pumps the blood that keeps you in life, but your heart of hearts.  It was designed and installed by God,  custom-made to reflect its Creator’s desires, true enough.  But it’s been sabotaged.  In the garden when Eve opted to make her own decisions, to ‘follow her heart’, to get a better understanding of good and evil…on that day the human heart proved itself untrustworthy.

David was known as a man after God’s own heart despite his failings because  he truly wanted what God wanted. When his own heart carried him away he always made his way back by confessing he had been wrong and God right:

“But David's heart struck him after he had numbered the people. And David said to the LORD, “I have sinned greatly in what I have done. But now, O LORD, please take away the iniquity of your servant, for I have done very foolishly.” II Sam.24:10

I want a heart like that.  Saul’s heart was not so pliable.  He cared more for his own glory than God’s. He died for His breach of faith.  Not only did He disobey God’s clear command, but he justified himself.  In addition, because “He did not seek guidance from the LORD” but sought out a medium instead,
“therefore the LORD put him to death and turned the kingdom over to David…” I Chron. 10:13,14  He couldn’t be bothered to do things God’s way.  His own heart betrayed him.

I don’t want this.  So I am speaking ‘Silence!’ to my quivering heart in this transitional season of our lives, and I am asking that  God would plant His desires in my heart.  I want His peace and His vision for our futures. I want my heart to be weaned from finding security in things and circumstances and to truly set its hope in God.  As He makes His desires to be our desires then we will be holy to our God--

“…but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,  as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.” I Pet.3:4-6

Knowing God’s heart is what I’m after, rather than following my own into disillusionment.  I need a refit done on my heart to outfit it with His desires for me. The process is underway.  Part of me is willing to go or stay, to cling to or fling my possessions as He dictates, to forsake this home and fearlessly follow into the great unknown…  He’s got the blueprint for these holy souls he’s making of us. He can see the unique reflection of His glory we are and will be.  He’s got the design and our eyes are on Him for the next steps.

Thanks for sharing our journey by your thoughtful words and prayers.

--LS

“…you have not been like my servant David, who kept my commandments and followed me with all his heart, doing only that which was right in my eyes”
I Kings 14:8

And he walked in all the sins that his father did before him, and his heart was not wholly true to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father.
I Kings 15:3

‘I have found in David the son of Jesse a man after my heart, who will do all my will.' Acts 13:22

“Who am I, O LORD God, and what is my house, that you have brought me thus far?” –David, I Chron.17:16

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding, In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths. Prov.3:5,6

“Delight yourself in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart. 
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him, and He will act.”
Ps.37:4,5 ESV

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus…” Heb.12:1,2

 

 

 

Safely Home

The best part of a bad dream is when you open your eyes, and you're home--safe and snug in your bed, untouched by the perils you dreamt of. Whew! I had a particularly harrowing ride in the wee hours the other morning. I hung on to the side of a monstrously big truck, squeezing by, scraping through, narrowly missing…on my way to some unknown drop-off point where I needed still to find my car (and my keys) and get myself home…And then I opened my eyes. Ah—I'm home already! Whew!

I'm often lost in my dreams--on convoluted highways trying to choose the right exits to get me safely home. Or down long hallways of doors, none of which opens to my room. Or on elevators which go not only up and down but also sideways—very confusing. [I think this nightmare harks from my short and troubled career as a candy-striper in a big hospital—charged with collecting blood and urine samples from every possible department and getting them to the lab in a timely fashion… and then sorting and delivering the internal mail. I would gladly have stayed in the mailroom forever sorting and popping mail in slots. How I disliked those meandering halls and elevators.]

I am a homebody at heart, never so at rest as when I'm home with familiar walls around me and mundane predictable tasks to accomplish. Even an empty nest is a cozy place to be.

Likely that's why so often my dreams, and my prayers, are about someone finding the way home—safely.

I pray this for my Dad who is lost in the ever worsening confusion of Alzheimer's still. How long Lord, before you rescue him from this dysfunctional body and bear him safely home?

I remember the day my Grandma (his mom) died—and the comforting relief that came with the thought that now she was safely home beyond the reach of harm, beyond the confines of an aging body. She was the classic farm Grandma--the indispensable family hub we wished could stay forever. She collected eggs, kept the cookie tins full, hosted family picnics and well, she worried about all of us. This was her besetting weakness. But it seemed legitimate, the grandmotherly thing to do. She loved us, right? So whenever our family was away she would sit up late in her rocker, watching the road that ran by down at the foot of the farmhouse lawn. She would wait for us to pass. Then she'd know we'd made it safely home from our travels and she could go to bed…

Are such traits inheritable? Or is this just part of the human condition? Was my relief at her death for her benefit, or for mine in no longer needing to worry what might befall her?

I pray too for black sheep, or if you prefer, lost sheep, wishing them safely home—family and friends who have somehow lost their way and distrusted the wooing voice of the Good Shepherd. In shunning hypocrisy they have missed the reality of life in Christ altogether.

An uncle lives on the streets of a cold city this winter without even a birth certificate to call his own, or a homeless shelter's welcome. Somehow he was derailed from the Kingdom in his youth despite his God-fearing parents' devotion. We long for him to be brought safely Home.

Question: When are we safe this side of eternity?

When our children are young we hover and protect, thinking we can keep them safe. As they grow we train and warn, hoping they will play it safe with life. When they are 'all grown up' we watch and hold our breaths. But when do we get to breathe again? When is there nothing to worry about? When are we safe this side of eternity? Is there a magic age or stage that we reach and then it's smooth coasting, no worries?

What a nonsense phrase 'No worries' is! Who are we trying to kid? There is always something that can be worried about. And who better to do it than a mother?!

"I wouldn't worry about it", the husband says.

The wife's retort: "That's why I have to!"

But it occurs to me that in my longing for all I love to be 'safely home' I am left with a dilemma not resolvable till death! Ridiculous. My refusal to rest from anxiety till each is 'safely home' is little more than a death wish. For as long as there is life there will be uncertainty of circumstance. Risk. Danger. And even bad dreams that won't go away. In this lifetime there is ample reason to fear for their well-being, if I'm dependent on worry and faithless prayers to see them through!

What is the value of a faith that doesn't dispel such fears and live at peace?

Home is our destination, but it's the walk of faith that takes us there. And in this life we will always be sojourners, never having quite arrived. Thus the need for faith—that assures us of things hoped for but not yet seen (Heb.11:1).

This week's Sunday sermon challenged us to consider how our lives give evidence of such faith. The proverbial chair that we say we believe will hold us up, is sitting there. Will we sit down in it? Or do we stand idly by boasting of the faith we possess but unwilling to put it to the test? James wrote: "Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works." He demonstrated that 'faith apart from works is useless' (James 2:20) by citing the life of Abraham.

I went back again this week to Abraham's story noting the things he did by faith.

He left with God the responsibilities that were God's. But he paid close attention to each thing God required of him in the process of fulfilling His purposes for Abraham.

So, what did Abraham actually do to be commended for his faith?

First and last, he listened to God's voice, with a heart willing to do whatever He said. In the middle, he obeyed and waited.

Contrary to some popular teaching, listening to God isn't a matter of just tuning in to a voice that's always speaking and immediately responsive to our every inquiry. But God does speak in ways we can hear. After all, He designed us to commune with Him. And in Christ that fellowship is restored so that by His Spirit living in the believer, He speaks.

The question is, how am I at listening? Am I 'slow of heart' (Lk.24:25) to believe what He says? I know I can be hard-hearted, resistant to trusting God's direction, preferring my 'tried and true' solutions sometimes. Ideally we will have soft hearts that purr with 'Yes, God, anything You say I will do. I trust You completely. All your ways are good.' Abraham had this kind of heart. He believed God. And God spoke to Him.

God said out of the blue: "Go, to a land I'll show you." (Gen.12) Abraham could have responded with: 'Who are You, anyway?' or 'Why?' or "No, I'm happy here." But he didn't. He got up and went, leaving his comfortable life and home behind to spend the rest of his life living in tents. [Question: Was he living in tents before this time? I don't know.] He went, listening all the while for where to go and when to stop! He trusted God.

Little by little God's plan for him unfolded. Little by little he obeyed. There were questions: How will I have descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky if I have no children? Will my servant be my heir? But when God answered, Abraham believed Him and set his heart to wait for the fulfillment of God's purposes. That's the second thing I noticed that Abraham DID to give evidence of His faith. He waited.

He only got into trouble when he gave in to fear ('She's my sister'—Gen.12) or when he listened to Sarah's voice rather than God's (Gen.16). She had such an innovative plan for accomplishing God's will! (We women can be good at coming up with these!) Wrong plan. Wrong heir.

No, a big part of Abraham's obedience was waiting God's timing. He was 75 when he packed his bags to live the rest of his life in tents in a strange land. Eleven years  passed before Ishmael was born! Now he was 86. Then there was silence for another THIRTEEN years while he and Sarah just got older and older…increasing the impossibility of fertility even further! Sometimes waiting on God is the very best way to show that we believe.

Then came another opportunity to act. God said: Circumcise all the males in your household. And Abraham did it 'that very day' (Gen.17). He was NINETY-NINE by then. But no dawdling. He was a 'doer of the Word' (James 1:22) if ever there was one.

Shortly thereafter came the big announcement, and another opportunity for Abraham to take action. God said: This time next year your wife will have a son. (Gen.18:14) Here was a part for Abraham to play—making love to his ninety year old wife—yet another step of obedience in the fulfillment of God's purposes.

You get the idea, there were actions Abraham took because he had faith. He moved. He waited. He circumcised the males in his household. And he had sex with his wife. But the fulfillment of the seemingly impossible promises was entirely up to God.

"Is anything too hard for the LORD?" (Gen.18:14)

Andrew Murray puts it this way, in his reflections on Psalm 37:
"Do what God asks you to do; God will do more than you can ask Him to do." (Waiting on God, p.65)

God doesn't ask us to do the impossible, only to believe that He can and will in His good time. We show we believe by doing the things He asks of us on the way to fulfilling His purposes.

As I studied this story again this week I prayed, "Lord, let me not be a Sarah, figuring out ways to make things happen that you have promised." I can be like that, chafing that I'm not 'doing anything' to make things change or to bring about what I perceive to be God's will.

If it's up to me to make things happen, when am I ever 'doing enough'?

I can even use prayer in this way—like a juggling feat—as if the success or failure of those I pray for is contingent on my keeping the oranges up in the air…If I don't pray enough, they're doomed. Yes, intercession is important, but it must be Spirit-driven and empowered by the faith that He supplies! A false sense of my indispensability, even in prayer, is a case of misguided significance at best, arrogance at worst! Faith trusts God to direct even my prayers. It leaves with Him the means by which He will accomplish all that is in His heart.

Meanwhile faith waits with a ready posture, humbly willing to obey. It neither rushes ahead to do things my way, nor lags behind overcome with disabling doubt.

"I am God ALMIGHTY—walk before me and be blameless"

This was God's call to Abraham (Gen.17:1). Isn't this what He has called all believers too? We too are sojourners in a world not made to be our home. We walk through it by faith in our God to guide our going and our staying, our acting and our waiting, and ultimately to grant us our last breath and take us safely home. For all this we can trust Him.

The ultimate test Abraham is known for was his willingness to give up his only son, his promised heir, as an offering to God. He trusted God could raise him from the dead if necessary. Perhaps in a lesser way, this is the test of every parent—to yield our offspring up to God's purposes, for Him to care for, discipline, and direct through their life's journey. Their destinies are in His hands, not ours.

But richer still is the true symbolism shown in Abraham's offering up of Isaac, that is, God sacrificing His own Son for the life of us all. And yes, He did raise Him from the dead as Abraham supposed he could! He was "delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification." (Rom.4:25) Think on that. What more is there?

And just as Abraham was declared righteous because he was 'fully convinced that God was able to do what He had promised' (Rom.4:21) so are we who believe that God raised Jesus from the dead on our behalf. It's all pre-figured in the life of Abraham and precious to consider again. In light of such a testimony of faith, my anxieties for those I wish to see 'safely home' are laid to rest, again. The God of Abraham is my God. My destiny and that of those I care most about is with Him. He's not asking that I accomplish their rescue but that I trust Him to do it while I listen for His directives…

He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died--more than that, who was raised--who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Rom. 8:32-34 ESV

But getting back to an answer to the sermon's question: How does my life give evidence of saving faith?

--By my willingness to sit down in the chair of God's provision, and to rest there without fear or nightmare of how we all shall get 'safely home'. I will trust Him to do it while I listen for His bidding, ready to obey.

--LS

"You were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls." I Pet.2:25

[May] your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. I Thess. 5:23

Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven. Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! Ps.107:30,31

The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.
II Tim. 4:18 ESV

Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen. Jude 1:24,25 ESV

Now to him who is able to strengthen you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jesus Christ…to bring about the obedience of faith-- to the only wise God be glory forevermore through Jesus Christ! Amen.
Rom. 16:25-27 ESV

--------------------------

P.S. May I urge you to sit and enjoy Abraham's story for yourself? Watch for the voice of God and the response of Abraham—Gen.12-25; Rom.4; Heb.11).

--And if you have a prodigal, consider Abraham Piper’s own story and suggestions here.

Why should I wait for the Lord any longer?!

The King was exasperated, and desperate.  Wearing sackcloth was so irritating and what good had it done?  The unending siege was driving people to insanity.  Mothers were haggling over their own babies’ flesh! The King had had enough.  He would have the prophet’s head, oh yes he would.  After all, this trouble was undoubtedly from the Lord.  Why not kill his prophet! And with that resolution he sent his messenger to relay it to Elisha. 

“Why should I wait for the LORD any longer?!” he hollered through Elisha’s closed and bolted door.

The King was not far behind leaning on his trusty captain for support. They held out no hope of the Lord’s being able to save them from starvation. Even ‘if the LORD himself should make windows in heaven, could this thing be?’ (II Kings 7:2) was how the captain put it.

But there was a reason to wait and not to open the doors to the enemy hordes.  Tomorrow things would be different. Tomorrow there would be an all-you-can-eat buffet. Tomorrow there would be plenty.  If they could just wait for tomorrow…

Faith is like that.  You can’t see the reward. You can’t taste it or touch it.  The alternatives even start to look good, desirable, harmless. “Did God really say…”  And we may begin to doubt that His instructions are our best bet. It may be true that without faith it’s impossible to please God.  And it may even be true that faith can move mountains.  But when the mountain is in your backyard blocking the sun and when it just doesn’t seem to be moving…it’s easy to doubt that waiting on God is worth the while.

The lepers were the first to discover God’s intervention.  They had so little to lose.  They lived outside the city gate in no-man’s-land anyway, outcasts. So they had ventured over to the Syrian camp to see if they might be shown mercy and given a little something to fend off starvation.  And lo and behold, the camp was abandoned.  The tents were there, full of provisions. The horses and donkeys too.  But the besieging army, the Syrians, had fled for their lives out of fear in an unseen army they had heard coming.  It was the Lord’s doing, His unseen way of saving His people just in time.  It had been worth the wait.  The siege was over. There was plenty for all, for the taking.

Only the captain who had voiced his doubts did not live to share in the feasting.  He was trampled in the gate by the hungry surging mob.

Are you waiting for your faith to be sight—feeling like you’re starving in a besieged city and about to cave in to the enemy?  Have you waited ‘forever’ for your prayers to bring results? your ship to come in?  your God to show Himself strong on your behalf?

I’m reminding myself this week that God’s timing is impeccable.  Never in a hurry, never late,  He molds His own with their eternal well-being in view and He has literally all the time in the world! 

While we think in terms of a tasty morsel, He has an eternity of dining with Him in view.  While we wait for answers, he waits for us to listen to what’s on His heart. Peter put it this way.  “The Lord is  not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”
II Pet.3:9 

My requests can be so short-sighted, so happiness-oriented.  I want to be happy.  I want our kids to be happy.  In short, it would be nice if everyone could be care-free, sickness free, accident free, and… well, HAPPY!  But God knows there is no true happy without HOLY.  And the route to holiness is not all happy, nor is it instantaneous! “He disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.” (Heb.12:10)

It’s a good thing He does not give us everything we ask for. He has so much more in mind. 

We may think the Lord slow to act, slow to answer, slow to race to our rescue and deliver us from all our enemies…but could it be that He is not slow, but patient with our slowness?  Could it be He waits for us to be ready for rescue—acknowledging our dependence, watching and waiting.

I don’t know about you, but there are ‘unanswered’ prayers in my life that keep me coming back to God to plead ‘What is going on?!… What do I need to do?!’  and at last, to learn to listen more than I talk.  And then I begin to see sin in me that has gone unacknowledged.  I see I am to blame for consequences I am now trying to escape or undo… And I am brought to repentance, to a fresh understanding of God’s mercy, and to a fuller grasp of His grace, and yes, His patience with me and with the ones I pray for. 

It is the kindness and patience of God that leads us all to repentance.(Rom.2:4) He wastes no time or circumstance.  His patience is our salvation.  We do well to wait for the Lord, always.  “Then you will know that I am the LORD, those who wait for me shall not be put to shame.” (Is.49:23)

And in the waiting, He gives us His word to fortify our souls!   Read the stories.  Ponder the promises. Take note of the commands.  Savor the grace.  It’s all written down for our benefit! 

“Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come.” I Cor.10:11 ESV

He’s worth the wait!

--LS

P.S.  I am trying out a new way of reading the Bible this year—reading a chapter from all the different genres each day.  And I am continually struck with God’s grace and man’s need of it. I love the way one passage comments on another when read in this way.  If you have yet to make a plan to dig in to the Word of God this year, and would like to try something new and different, check out this system at the JUST READ IT! tab above,
or click here!

If you would prefer to read chronologically, here is a simple plan. The man proposing it, Keith Ferrin, came to speak in our town last week.  His purpose is to spur believers on to LOVE the Word of God.  All sorts of practical encouragement can be found on his website (including other plans; there is no one-size-fits-all plan!).  I highly commend it to you.  His chronological Bible reading plan can be found here.

--LS

“So you, by the help of your God, return, hold fast to love and justice, and wait continually for your God." Hosea 12:6

“…Continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” II Tim.3:14-17 ESV

The LORD utters his voice before his army, for his camp is exceedingly great; he who executes his word is powerful. …Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster. Who knows whether he will not turn and relent, and leave a blessing behind him… Joel 2:11-14 ESV

Jonah:  "O LORD, is not this what I said when I was yet in my country? That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster. Jonah 4:2 ESV

Waiting on God

I bumped into a tired old paperback on a neglected couch-side shelf this week.  Its yellowing pages and faded cover picture a man kneeling at a stool, head in hands.  Its title is Waiting on God, by Andrew Murray.  Flipping it open I scanned a few lines and realized this was the book I needed though it wasn’t the one I had actually been looking for.

It is not merely a book on prayer but on its correlative: waiting.  I appreciate Murray’s distinguishing the two.  He says “there may be much praying with but very little waiting on God. In praying we are often occupied with ourselves, with our own needs, and our own efforts in the presentation of them.  [Yes! This is precisely my experience!; something’s missing] He goes on: In waiting upon God, the first thought is of the God upon whom we wait...” 

Have you ever noticed how God inexplicably supplies just what you need when you need it? It was no ‘fluke’ that I happened upon this old book I had yet to read.  I couldn’t even remember at first where I had come by it.  But  I have been frustrated with my ‘prayer life’ for a long time.  It has been an ongoing plea: ‘Lord, teach me to pray.’  I see the need; there’s no want of opportunity to intercede!  And since communication is a backbone of relationship, obviously prayer  is basic to a  believer’s life. Why then the disparity between what I know to be true and the way I pray?

Could it be I have not learned the value of waiting on God?  Seems everywhere I turn of late I find a lesson on waiting.  I read  King Saul’s story this week—you remember the incident where his impetuousness lost him the kingdom?  His enemies were gathering on his borders in formidable numbers—“like the sand on the seashore”.  His own troops numbered mere hundreds and had neither sword nor spear to face 30,000 chariots and 6,000 horsemen and troops! (I Sam.13) Desperately Saul waited for Samuel to come and officiate at the burnt offerings and peace offerings.  He needed God on his side!  Unfortunately he had the wrong idea about God.  He viewed the sacrificial system as a sort of good-luck charm—a means of gaining God’s favor and guaranteeing victory.  Do I sometimes view prayer this way?

And when Samuel didn’t show up punctually, Saul panicked and took charge of offering the sacrifice himself in clear violation of God’s standards. His desperation revealed a heart out of sync with God’s heart. 

Did he think all depended on him to do something? 

Did he not realize that ‘the Lord will not forsake His people for His great name’s sake’.  (I Sam.12:22)  His calling was to ‘fear the Lord and serve Him faithfully with all [his] heart’ (I Sam.12:24) but fear of his enemies outranked his fear of God. So he failed to wait to see how God would choose to act. His kingship was revoked.

When we face impossible situations and impending crises our hearts’ devotion becomes transparent.  Have you been there? I have.  Panic!   Unless we have learned to wait for God, and in these times to know His heart, we will be unprepared in crisis to trust Him and fear Him only…We will be tempted to run ahead and do something, anything! to save ourselves (or whoever needs saving!). 

In panic we will tend to use prayer like a magic bullet—devoid of faith, driven by fear, offering words, demands, desperate pleas, but not trust.  Meanwhile God’s spirit whispers: “In quietness and in trust shall be your strength…” Is.30:15  And He waits to be gracious to us…He waits for us to wait for Him. Is.30:18

I’ve been struck lately by Jesus’ words:  Without me you can do nothing.  Nothing.  What is the use of worry, of scurry, of meticulous ordering of my days—all belying my supposed dependence on Him.  Unless I’m actively depending on Christ, abiding in Him, waiting on His direction I accomplish NOTHING.  It may look like a something but He says it is nothing.

The stuff of waiting revolves around two deep convictions:

1) a deep sense of personal helplessness to accomplish anything of eternal value

2) a perfect confidence that God is willing and able to do beyond all that I could ask or even think! (Murray, p.20-21)

Without these I will be good at ‘busy’ but not so great at ‘wait’.  Busy implies significance, being needed, being ‘somebody’.  It’s a classic way of conforming to the world. 

Waiting implies dependence, being in need, and being ‘nothing without Him’.  It demonstrates I am not in control but He is.

I think that as we age this becomes more evident.  Our bodies no longer do our bidding as they once did.  We begin to need aids:  seeing aids, hearing aids, walking aids, sleeping aids… As the outer man fades the inner man is given opportunity to grow strong, to deepen its dependence on the God who has sustained us all along.  Before I lose all my faculties I would like to learn to wait on God.

As I began to read Andrew Murray’s book I came upon a card marking someone’s place.   It bore my Dad’s handwriting, as he struggled to untangle the spelling of a familiar word…he was likely in the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s when he read this book.  (Yes, that’s where I’d gotten it. I’d tucked it in my suitcase on my last visit--a sampling from Dad’s bookcase.)  The card he used as a bookmark and ruler for underlining was an ad for woodworking patterns—for a tractor and a model T,  for a familiar looking loader and a dump truck.  Dad made these things.  Now he lives in a care home, incapacitated and unable to communicate, waiting on God to issue his call home. He can do little else.

Dare I?

--LS

“From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a god besides you, who acts for those who wait for him.” Is.64:4

[the verse by my kitchen sink]:
“In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly…but I, by your great love, can come into your house, in reverence I bow down toward your holy temple.” Ps.5:3,7

[my bookmark]:
“My soul, wait thou only upon God: for my expectation is from him.  He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved.  In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge is in God.”  Ps.62:5-7

--------------------------------

If you have a few minutes more, consider this profound foreword to Andrew Murray’s book, Waiting on God:

Wait Thou Only Upon God

"Wait only upon God"; my soul, be still,
And let thy God unfold His perfect will,
Thou fain would'st follow Him throughout this year,
Thou fain with listening heart his voice would'st hear,
Thou fain would'st be a passive instrument
Possessed by God, and ever Spirit-sent
Upon His service sweet—then be thou still,
For only thus can He in thee fulfill
His heart's desire. Oh, hinder not His hand
From fashioning the vessel He hath planned.

"Be silent unto God," and thou shalt know
The quiet, holy calm He doth bestow
On those who wait on him; so shalt thou bear
His presence, and His life and light e'en where
The night is darkest, and thine earthly days
Shall show His love, and sound His glorious praise.
And He will work with hand unfettered, free,
His high and holy purposes through thee.
First on thee must that hand of power be turned,
Till in His love's strong fire thy dross is burned,
And thou come forth a vessel for thy Lord,
So frail and empty, yet, since He hath poured
Into thine emptiness His life, His love,
Henceforth through thee the power of God shall move
And He will work for thee. Stand still and see
The victories thy God will gain for thee;
So silent, yet so irresistible,
Thy God shall do the thing impossible.

Oh, question not henceforth what thou canst do;
Thou canst do nought. But He will carry through
The work where human energy had failed
Where all thy best endeavors had availed
Thee nothing. Then, my soul, wait and be still;
Thy God shall work for thee his perfect will.
Thou wilt take no less, His best shall be
Thy portion now and through eternity.

--Freda Hanbury

in Waiting on God by Andrew Murray

The Essence of the Editor

I've finished reading three books in the last month or so--one by a fledgling Christian author not yet 30 years old, another by a long-time bestselling author, now dead, who didn't begin writing till he was 40. [The third, by an acclaimed novelist I had never read--but that story will keep for another time.]

Each of these books--the first: a memoir, the second: fiction--has shown me something valuable about who I am and who I want to be.

The In-Between, by young blogger, now author-in-print, Jeff Goins, reminded me that the thing we press ahead to attain may not be all that we intend if we manage to make it happen prematurely or without the necessary teamwork. An accomplishment reached before its time is like a rosebud forced open and spoiled. Maturing and reaching the ideals we most admire takes time. The 'in-between' interim is not a waste of time, but crucial to our growth and integral to the becoming we await…

This is the main point of Jeff's book, but ironically, it is also the truth I see underlined by the poor quality of this, his second paperback in as many years. I have appreciated Jeff's good words at his blog for writers. He does an excellent job at it. But his goal was to get published, and so he has. The product is rough and awkward, not the well-honed product one expects from a major publishing house. Granted, The In-Between is readable and of inherent value as Jeff's candid personal memoir, but it is not excellent. It lacks the eye of an experienced editor willing to come alongside and help him sort and polish his words to greater clarity. Could it be that rushing to the goal of 'getting published' has short-circuited the crucial 'in-between' time of preparation?

Or maybe the world of publishing is just changing and audiences are more tolerant of 'mistakes' as long as the author has something to say and shares a piece of himself in the process. Jeff has done this.

Perhaps the reason I find myself criticizing the quality of his finished work is that concurrently with reading his book I have been reading The Novel by seasoned writer, James Michener. Written back in 1991 toward the tired end of his successful career as a novelist, it lacks the 'umphh' and excellence of his popular earlier works. [Contrary to cover descriptions it is neither riveting nor suspenseful, at least not until the last 35 of the 435 pages, which unveil and hurriedly solve an unexpected murder mystery!] It is not his best novel but what did fascinate me about this slow-moving fiction was its thorough depiction of the inner workings of the publishing world. The role of the editor enthralled me. Was I born for this?!

The book is divided into four segments, each written from a different point of view: The Writer, The Editor, The Critic, and The Reader. I had imagined the part of the writer fairly well but had little idea how influential the editor's role is in determining the final product. Here is the person without whose expertise the writer will never achieve his best work. Here is the person who must not only spot the author's faults and quirks but must be able to cheer him on to remedy them.  She must inspire him to improve, to revise his story line if need be, to re-cast his characters more credibly, to rewrite and revise until his story truly represents his best effort. Her role is indispensable. 

Ironically, the editor is tasked with inspiring and facilitating a task which she herself is unable to do. She is not a novelist. She is an editor. But her skill or lack thereof will be clearly evident in the finished product. The author is deeply indebted to a competent editor, but the book will not bear her name. She is just the editor. But the book will not fulfill its potential without her best efforts.

How like the Body of Christ this is. We are not intended to be 'solo' saints, heroes doing exploits single-handedly, pedestal people clambering over one another to be the best--'conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.' (Gal.5:26) We are each only parts of the great published work that will chronicle our Lord's glory. Only together with each member doing the part for which she/he was designed will we showcase the manifold wisdom of God to all the powers that be, in both heaven and hell! (Eph.3:10)

It's a team effort. One may be chosen to write. Another will have suggestions to add to that work, and corrections. Another will work to make the formatting and cover design attractive. While yet others will be busy with the technical features of printing and binding, and still others the ‘people’ aspects of marketing and sales…All contribute their best so that the reader can know the thoughts of the writer. Without any one of these experts the end-product will not achieve its fullest potential.

A book with a professionally designed cover and immaculate formatting will be a failure if the editor has neglected its content.

And even the most insightful writing, edited to near perfection will miss its greatest audience if it is wrapped in a glum unattractive cover and left on a shelf to be discovered.

But back to Michener's novel... the third point-of-view was that of the Critic—the one who assesses the worth of the finished product, but has no vested interest in its success. Depending on his expert opinion, sales of the book may rise or fall, unless common good-sense and relish for the book override his intellectual opinion. The critic's reviews may be scathing and heartless; encouraging the author is not his task. Promoting excellence in literature is. But if he is not watchful, his elitism may blind him to what is truly good and praiseworthy. The Critic in this story was my least favorite character, but I also recognize my own propensity to fill this role. Pronouncing judgments without regard to the person behind the work is an odious fault.

But the critic in this story had an epiphany. He was intent on writing his own novel, one that would tower above the common lot. But try as he would, he could not. Being also a university professor who taught writing, he had a sense of excellence that he himself could not produce. But he could train others. At last he had to concede:

"…I had an obligation to become honest about who I was and was not. I was not a novelist. I did not have the insights and poetry required by the creative writer. What I did have was a powerful understanding of what good writing was. I had a nose that unfailingly identified rubbish. And I could teach others to do what I couldn't." (Michener, The Novel, p.291)

Isn't this too what it is like to be a part of the Body of Christ? Some of us are noses, others livers. Some are hands and feet, others eyes. There is no point in envying or longing to duplicate another's excellence (though I still do at times). But we can honor others' abilities even as we contribute our own to their success. Only then will we all "attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ…" Only together, "when each part is working properly," will "the body grow so that it builds itself up in love." (Eph.4:13,16)

Fulfilling our callings is not an individual pursuit, anymore than a writer can create a masterpiece alone. But with each one doing his part the final copy will be amazing. And whose name will the cover bear? not ours, but Christ's who dreamed up the story of redemption before the beginning of time and has given us the privilege of taking part in its being published!

-------------

Meanwhile, behind the scenes at the Skelton house, I am studying the trade of Copy-editing. This is what I want to be when I grow up! I am seeing now that it is not all negative—finding fault and circling it in red. That part comes naturally to me! The true goal is to see beyond the errors to what a manuscript might become if the author will persevere with the editor at his side cheering him on. And I think that's a pretty awesome role to aspire to in this next season of my life…

--LS

"…speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.” Eph.4:15   " He must increase, but I must decrease." Jn. 3:30

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Gal.6:2

"Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them…” Rom 12:6

A Hope Worth Waiting for

It’s been a very rainy week.  The grad party squeaked by with just a bit of drizzle, but not enough to keep the kids inside. Thank-you, Lord!

But Monday, it rained.  And Tuesday.  And Wednesday.  Thursday afternoon we jumped on the tandem when the road had dried between showers and got a hundred yards up the street before it started spitting again… Today I picked strawberries and weeded, in the rain.

This has been not only anti-climactic but a tad bit depressing.  You see, I feel I deserve sunshine once ‘summer’ has officially come.  Fall and Winter and Spring are opportunity enough for rain. We put up with the wet chill and overcast skies then.  But when summer comes it ought to be sunny, right?  And warm.  Not still hovering under 70 degrees, forcing me to dig out an old turtleneck not yet stowed away with the other ‘winter’ things…

Earlier this week I was quite an unhappy camper.  My dismay began with a misunderstanding.  You see, we are planning a bike trip.  Hotels are booked. Rides planned.  Then Jim pulled out the week’s weather forecast Monday morning at breakfast—rain, rain, rain, clearing at week’s end.  This was too much for me.  I thought he was reading next week’s forecast—and I could only imagine pedaling long hours in rain with no option to go home and get warm and dry… If there’s one thing worse than rain, it’s not being able to get out of it when you’ve had enough!

So I spent the next day (or was it two?) under the mistaken notion (and its attendant gloom) that we were doomed to ride in the rain.  Silly, I know.  Since when are weather forecasts reliable anyway?  But then something happened that changed my perspective.  It was something Jim said when I was bemoaning things as I saw them.  He said, what if you knew it was going to clear up and be sunny after three days of rain?  Would it be easier to bear it? (Those weren’t his exact words, but that was the gist of it).

Of course, that’s when the truth came out about the actual weather forecast and the very real potential that our trip would take place under sunny skies and warm temperatures!  And of course, just having that hope completely changed my disposition! And it set me thinking about the power of hope-- this thing that can make misery bearable, that can prompt a smile when there’s no visible reason to be smiling, that can infuse joy into bleak surroundings.

My illustration is rather pathetic, I know. For one thing, I’m far too easily discouraged by weather. And for another, there is no guarantee that we won’t indeed ride in the rain. Mine is a flimsy hope, based on nothing but hope itself, and a projected weather forecast! Who dares put hope in those?  Nevertheless it got me thinking about the nature of hope and the sure hope that we as believers have. 

We use this word ‘hope’ so loosely.  It can refer to short-term wishes (‘I hope there’s a cookie left in the tin’) and life-long desires ( ‘I hope I will grow old gracefully’).  Ironically, its use often implies a degree of doubt that a thing will really happen.  (“I hope so.  We can only hope.”)

There is even such a thing as a false hope—a confidence built on a faulty premise. It energizes like the real thing at first. It holds out promise of good things to come but they never do.  Though it take a lifetime to reveal its true nature, eventually it will be seen to be a lie.  It will fall with crushing disappointment.

Often such false hopes are  based on what we want to be true more than on what God has said to be true.  Words are twisted.  Promises claimed. Hard and fast conclusions reached.  Meanwhile life (and death) happen.  God overrides our best judgments.  He is not bound by our false hopes.  Things don’t go just as we predicted.  Disappointments come. We are clearly not in control.  Our hopes are fallible.

But there is a hope that is sure.  And believers, of all people, should be people marked with an indelible optimism because of the hope of the Gospel. We have reason to wear joy on our sleeve no matter what the weather. We have no need to cling to idle hopes that may or may not deliver, hopes based in this lifetime, in these bodies, in short-term comforts and pleasures.  These are the world’s domain. They will prove to be false hopes, all destined to end with life itself.   The hope of the Gospel is not bound by the limitations of these bodies and their short lifespans.  True hope reaches beyond these to an assurance that the best is yet to come.  Bucket lists, and even hopes for healing and happiness, fade in relevance in the face of eternity.  The hope of eternal life spent in the presence of our heart’s greatest Desire is the hope that’s  meant to buoy up our hearts in the time-being, when it does ‘rain’ on our parade, when we do face endless troubles here, when life isn’t a bed of roses and things don’t turn out all ‘peachy keen’. 

We were never intended to compete with the world for all its comforts. We don’t have to.   We have an internal Comfort not dependent on health or money or toys.    The Spirit of the living God resides in us strengthening, equipping and directing us, God’s treasured possessions, in ways that will proclaim His excellence to a world in dire need of true hope. 

I can’t forecast what  the weather will be next week. It may rain.  I can’t count on sunshine but I can count on grace that will see me through come rain or shine. I can count on God with us, in us, for us, and working through us as we go…

And I can count on God’s goodness and mercy following me all the days of my life till I get to go dwell in His house forever.  This is a hope that changes the way things look!  And it’s one we can count on, always.

--LS

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; 
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

"The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."

The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.
It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.
—Lam.3:21-26   [Have a look at the context of Jeremiah’s words for a full appreciation of this hope he professes.  Incredible!]

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith--more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire--may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
–I Peter 1:3-7

And the LORD said to Aaron, "You shall have no inheritance in their land, neither shall you have any portion among them. I am your portion and your inheritance… “ Numbers 18:20

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. I Pet.2:9

Oh. Almost forgot…this tune I met this week, to share with you…

Faithful Jesus, Cherished Treasure. Our portion. Wisdom. God’s great light.

High Hopes

I find myself some days lately feeling unaccountably glum. The sun may be shining, the birds calling in search of mates, buds blooming and everything running otherwise smoothly in my little world, but there's this underlying glumness… How come?

As Rachel counts down the days till she can fly this nest for greater things, I take stock of my purpose in life! I wonder what cause there will be to get out of bed when homeschooling no longer calls us to be up and at it… What is the purpose of life without kids? That question too crosses my mind and I voice it to Jim, my voice quavering…

We're doing a study these days on applying the Gospel to life. This week's lesson is on idolatry. There are statements here to shake me out of just picturing gold-covered Hindu gods, into considering whether I have set my heart on idols—anything besides Jesus that I feel I must have in order to be happy, whether a thing or a person, a role or an ability. Where have I set my hopes?

Could this glum sagging of joy mean that I've been counting on something other than Jesus for my joy? Have I let my calling become my God?

Take this statement for instance:

"Every self exists in relation to values perceived as making life worth living. A value is anything good in the created order—any idea, relation, object or person in which one has an interest, from which one derives significance…These values compete…in time one is prone to choose a center of value by which other values are judged. When a finite value has been elevated to centrality and imagined as a final source of meaning, then one has chosen…a god…One has a god when a finite value is…viewed as that without which one cannot receive life joyfully." Thomas Oden, Two Worlds: Notes on the Death of Modernity in America and Russia, IVP,1992, 94-96

Over all these years I've found significance and life purpose in my calling as a mother schooling her own children at home. I've found great satisfaction in it despite the overwhelming challenge at times. That's all about to change. The sense of loss leaves me feeling glum some days. The unknown prospects looming seem alternately intimidating and exciting. Today, I'm excited. New ideas are brewing…new hopes.

But that's just it, my point. Hopes. What are my hopes? Must I really just scramble for another temporary job description in order to restore my joy? Or is this my opportunity to make sure my hope is ultimately set in God and whatever His calling and purposes are for my life at any given stage. If I'm counting on anything else, there is reason to feel deflated!

What do I want, besides 'just' God? And how badly do I want it? Health, 'successful' children, a comfortable income, freedom from pain, longevity, eternal youth?! Are these my expectations? If my hope is set on any of these, as needful for joy, it's misplaced.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick," Solomon said. False hopes, like false gods, will never satisfy. They're all temporary. They will always leave us heart-sick. Change comes and knocks them out from under us. Then what? Only God is a rock unchanging. David points us in the right direction as he confronts his own glumness:

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God. Ps.42:11

As believers we are people destined in this lifetime to live on hope, to set our minds on things above, not the stuff of here and now (Col.3:2). Our salvation itself is vested in a future hope, not yet seen. We don't have it all now. We aren't intended to. I've been memorizing Romans 8 little by little with Rachel and we've come to the verses on hope—strong reminders that the best is yet to come—the glory, the Kingdom, the redemption of our bodies—these are all future tense. Meanwhile creation groans, we groan, and even the Spirit groans on our behalf. And we wait, eagerly, and patiently, sustained by the inseparable love of God.

And in this waiting we seek the interests of the Kingdom first and we seek God's heart, in hopes that He will make His desires our own and conform our desires to His. And this mother's heart imagines what it would be to have the grandkids near enough to pop by Grandmom's house and feed the chickens, pet the dog, have a cookie from that never-empty tin atop the fridge, or make some "Heavenly Biscuits" together… Wouldn't it be great to make an alphabet book together and have first reading lessons, or just to sit and read beautiful picture books…* and I share with God my hopes, but refuse to set my heart upon them. I will trust Him with whatever my future holds. Herein is peace, and purpose. Yes, and joy! Because cultivating a patient, meek and thankful heart, deeply contented with whatever God provides is likely the best prophylactic for idolatry.

I close with Martin Luther's thoughts on idolatry:

"All those who do not at all times trust God and do not in all their works or sufferings, life and death, trust in his favor, grace and good-will, but seek His favor in other things or in themselves, do not keep this [First] Commandment, and practice real idolatry…" from A Treatise on Good Works, PartX,18

--LS

"…we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in his hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." Rom.8:22-26

P.S. I still regularly check out picture books from the library, a habit I can’t quite give up. For those of you blessed with children near at hand, don’t miss reading this week’s find:The Gardener, by Sarah Stewart. illus. by David Small. It’s  a perfect story for springtime. See more here.

We wait for the glory...

“The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed…” and we wait…groaning inwardly, as we wait eagerly for our adoption—the redemption of these bodies…(Rom.8:19) these bodies—transient containers that give out… I sit in the Alzheimer’s ward babysitting (or was it visiting?) my dad.   

He’s sacked out on a recliner, asleep, or approximately so, dead to the world, almost.

“But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness.” (Rom.8:10) 

These verses I’m committing to memory seem so apropos in this context.  Somewhere inside this failing body waits a spirit, waiting to be released to Life unencumbered, the glory of the sons of God…

A grown daughter passes hurriedly, tearful after spending several hours with her incapacitated mother. “I’ve gotta go. I’ve gotta get out of here” she mumbles as she heads for the door.

If my dad could speak, is this not what he would say?  Oh to be delivered from this body of death.  But mutely he sits, eyes downcast, drugged senseless,  this man whose genes I have inherited, who has passed on this life I carry in my veins, and indirectly, this Life I carry in my soul.  His God has become my God.  And we both wait for that which is to come.  He lingers in this ignoble, humble fashion—helpless, prodded awake, fed, changed, babied.

Around him mumbling, stuttering graying folk sit in stupors or uttering snatches of disjoint conversation, meaningless except perhaps in the recesses of distant memories.  Others socialize in endless rounds of polite conversation. Who can make sense of it? 

But then we make our shuffling pilgrimage to the little chapel down the hall.  Mom sits at the piano. We kids take our seats on either side of Dad and we sing a medley of treasured old hymns: 

“It is well with my soul”...

“…when darkness veils His lovely face, I trust in His unchanging grace.  When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay……On Christ the solid Rock I stand…”

“My Jesus I love Thee, I know Thou art mine…” our voices blend surrounding Dad, giving voice to his soul, calming and comforting him, and ourselves. “I’ll love Thee in life; I will love Thee in death.  I’ll love Thee as long as Thou givest me breath…” 

Tears overtake my singing for a moment.  But there is sense, and hope…’the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We don’t know what to prayer as we ought but He intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express…’ Rom.8:27-28

“And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.” (Rom.8:29)

The wait is not forever and in my heart I concur with Paul, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” (Rom.8:17,18)

This too shall pass. The best years are yet to come.  Together we wait.

--LS

How Long?

OK, I am a slow reader and a slow writer and an even slower reviewer of books—takes me a while to put my thoughts in words (especially if they’re going to be read!) but I did want to put up a review of Joni’s memoir: The God I Love.  And at last it is done.  [See:thestackofdawn.blogspot.com]

This memoir by Joni Eareckson Tada is a delightful read with a tender balance between portraying  inner thoughts and actions.  Joni was a lively kid with an enviable family life which makes for fun reading and now from the vantage point of maturity she follows the thread of God’s wooing her from the time she was little right up to the present. 

Some people aren’t comfortable with a story like Joni’s. How could God really allow such an ‘accident’ and leave such a talented, vivacious girl paralyzed?  They figure it should be hushed up, as though a Christian  quadriplegic were a contradiction in terms or a shame to the gospel.  As though she hadn’t enough faith to be healed and now she should just be quiet about her story rather than encouraging others to accept their weaknesses as God’s plan for them too.  Does a story like Joni’s really undermine faith? 

I don’t see it that way.  I love her explanation of the hard things, the evil things, the ‘wrong’ things that trouble our lives and our world.  She says God permits them, even though He hates them, because He has a greater purpose, something the love of which overrides the allowance of evil.  Well, she didn’t say it quite that way.  Her way of saying it was:

"God permits things he hates [ e.g. quadriplegia], really hates, to accomplish something he loves [e.g. my growing need of Him]." p218

Or, in other words:

"[God] permits what he hates so that his power can show up in people like you and me."p263

Her whole story is a triumphant affirmation of Romans 8—what shall separate us from the love of God?  And, ‘for those who love God all things work together for good’ (Rom.8:28) We sometimes stop there with our own definitions of ‘good’ in mind, and wonder ‘What happened?!’  But the verse continues: '…for those who are called according to His purpose.’  And what exactly is that purpose? 

We, as believers, are destined ‘to be conformed to the image of His Son’.  By nook or by shepherd’s crook God has in mind to conform us to Jesus’ image, this Jesus who ‘learned obedience through what He suffered’ (Heb.5:8) who humbled Himself to the point of death, (Phil.2:8) bent on obeying the Father in everything, yielding His right to life itself to the Father’s good purpose.  (Or else where would we be?)

Joni’s suffering affirms the value of trusting God with our lives, for His eternal purposes. Through her suffering Joni has come to realize the deep compassion of God for her. God has suffered too. He knows. He suffers with us.  She actually came to love Him more than she had before her ‘accident’, thus the book’s title—The God I Love. This is not always the outcome for those who suffer, or who watch people they love suffer.  I guess that’s why I appreciate Joni’s story.  It shows me a faith that works, not in getting me everything I think I want, but in transforming me into the image of Jesus. Isn’t this what I really want?

I confess I’m wimpy when it comes to pain/sickness/suffering.  I quickly fixate on me, myself, and I and wonder ‘how long’ is this going to last? Have you noticed how sickness feels like ‘forever’ until it passes and then it is as quickly forgotten as a passing dream, a mere triviality—a ‘light momentary affliction’ –which it really is compared to the ‘eternal weight of glory’ it’s preparing us for.  II Cor.4:17 It’s all a matter of perspective…

So I got to looking at the ‘how long?’s of Scripture.  We are in good company.  Seems the human condition predisposes us to ask this question.  It tends to go something like this:  ‘How long do I have to suffer?’

Not unexpectedly, a string of them happen in Job:
“How long will you torment me with words…”  Job 19:2

And a whole slew of them in Psalms to this effect:
”My soul also is greatly troubled. But you, O LORD--how long?
Turn, O LORD, deliver my life; save me…” Ps.6:4

We want relief. 

There is also another legitimate ‘how long’. It has to do with our inborn  sense of justice that remains unsatisfied as long as evil goes unpunished. We see it in the martyrs cry of Revelation: They cried out with a loud voice, "O Sovereign Lord, holy and true,how long before you will judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth?" Rev.6:10 

But here it is not a self-oriented cry. They are already dead!  The cry for justice here is a cry for God to be glorified as the rightful Judge of all the earth. We’re getting closer to the ‘How long?’s of God.  When I look at what God is waiting for I see a different sense of priorities.

'How long will you refuse to humble yourself before me? Let my people go, that they may serve me’  were words addressed to Pharaoh by God. Ex.10:3

Then there’s the incident of the Israelites on the verge of marching into the good land God had prepared for them. When the spies bring the report of its greatness, the people quail at the prospect and start whining that they never should have come on this trip. They should have stayed in Egypt! They simply don’t trust that God has their best interests at heart.  Or that He can bring them through the necessary battles.

And God says:
"How long will this people despise me? And how long will they not believe in me, in spite of all the signs that I have done among them? 

"How long shall this wicked congregation grumble against me? I have heard the grumblings of the people of Israel, which they grumble against me.” Num.14:11,27

We hear the echo of this unbelief in Elijah’s words generations down the line as the people dabble in idol worship: "How long will you go limping between two different opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal, then follow him." I Kings 18:21

This bent to doubt can be traced to Jesus’ ministry years too: "O faithless and twisted generation, how long am I to be with you and bear with you? Bring your son here,” Jesus said of the demon-possessed boy no one seemed able to help. Lk.9:41

God’s ‘How long?’ s are so different than mine.

I say,  ‘How long….do I have to put up with this?’…How long…till this pain goes away?

How long…does my dad have to suffer the loneliness and confusion of Alzheimer’s disease?

How long…till ______________ comes (back) to the Lord?

How long… till revival comes? till the church reflects the glory of the Gospel in a way that compels the world to take notice?

How long…till I see what I’m hoping for?
How long…till there’s relief?

And God says:  How long till you stop grumbling, and fearing, and wavering in your loyalties and trust me with your life, as is?  How long till you follow me with your whole heart and leave what you think you most want in My Hands.  How long till you believe that I am in control, working in all things for my greatest glory, which is ultimately your greatest good?!

Man says: "Where is the promise of his coming?” (II Pet.3:4) …nothing has changed. Nothing’s happening.  But  God says, when I come will I find faith on the earth? Lk.18:8

Good question, when you put it that way.

Lord I believe, help my unbelief (and THANK YOU for these testimonies to true faith along the way!)

--LS

He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus! The grace of the Lord Jesus be with all. Amen. Rev.22:20,21

“We groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved…if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” Rom.8:23-25

Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Rom.5:2-5

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For more on Joni’s book see my review at: http://thestackofdawn.blogspot.com