Small Starts

I am learning something about free time.

It is not the missing magic ingredient that will automatically free us to make all our long-held dreams and ambitions come true.

"If only I had time I would…"

Really?

What uncharted amounts of 'free' time do is call our bluff.

Perhaps you know how it is… When the kids are young we long for time to ourselves… just a little more time than we have. Then they get a little older and more self-sufficient but life somehow isn't any less busy. And we wish we had time from what we are doing, to get to things that we aren't doing—whether it be that shoebox of photos we want to put in albums, or that book we'd read if only, or maybe that book we'd write if we had half a chance! Or maybe we just want some 'down' time to relax and rejuvenate. We could pray more, play more or develop our artistic bents if only there were time…right?

Well, then the kids all up and move away leaving a void of space and time. Time to pursue our dreams, to do all those things we've waited to have time for. And surprise! It takes more than mere time to get down to them.

For me, one of those things I figured time would free me to do is writing. But it's been comically difficult to devote swaths of time to it now that the time has arrived on my doorstep!

As a writer to writers has said: "…the greased slide to writer's block is a huge batch of time earmarked: 'Now write.' "  (*Cameron,13)

This is SO true! Have you read the adorably illustrated children's picture book: "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie"? [You can have it read to you here]  Here is an exaggerated depiction of the unforeseen string of consequences that can flow from the simple offering of a cookie. For me, that cookie has been time. And if you give a would-be-writer unlimited time, beware. A host of other activities may eat it right up! Here's what may happen:

First, she will notice it's practically lunch time (where did the whole morning fly anyway?!) and she really shouldn't try writing on an empty stomach… While she's making short work of chronic leftovers she will realize how cold she is. She decides to warm up with her 3 minute weight-lifting routine, aww…why not do some lunges while you're at it? More fun with music… Oh and look here, a whole exercise routine on You-Tube, and it's 'Christian'. Fun!

Well, there, that warmed things up. Oh, wait, this is actually elliptical exercise day. May as well get that out of the way now so the writing will be uninterrupted. Maybe just do a shorter workout than usual. It'll only take 10 minutes. But the music is rousing; why cut it short? A half hour later it's time for a shower--a quick one of course. (Are you kidding? Who takes quick showers? Water is in endless supply in our locale. What we don't use flows out to sea. We live with the rain; long showers are a dividend.)

…OK, there. All ready to settle down and write, right?

Well, then up pops a 'should'…she really should phone the kids and see how they're doing. It'll be quick. Minutes tick by. No worries. They're free. Good phone plan. All caught up with the 'mama'; better talk to each of the grandkids too… Finally, 'Bye,bye'.

There.

Oh, what's this? New email message? These smart phones are so handy. Ah, and a notification. Hmm… ought to re-schedule that get-together for a different day. Monday's a holiday. Hmmm better do that now before I forget.

And so goes the would-be-writer's afternoon. This is evidenced in the fading daylight coming in the study window. But maybe there's still time to tap out a few words at the computer…Hmm…best get a snack first; all that exercise, you know. What's something quick? How 'bout a frozen waffle with Nutella? Gotta toast it…………….then the spreading with luscious gooey chocolaty goodness…Mmm. But it's still rather dry. Better get a glass of milk to go with it.

Now we can get started, at last. Wait. Messy fingers. And while she's in the kitchen rinsing fingers she realizes it's almost time to start dinner and she really should make something special from scratch, since she has all the time in the world…right?

And behold. All that vast expanse of fertile time just waiting to be turned into timeless words has vanished! What happened?

Truth is it's a daunting thing to come face to face with opportunity to do what you've only dreamed of having time for. Dreams tend to preserve ideals that can't stand the light of day. To imagine doing something, to wonder if you might be able… is quite different from pulling it off. Procrastination is just the outward symptom of a greater malady.

So, if you're waiting for an elusive quantity of time to present itself so that you can accomplish great things hitherto only dreamed of, may I make a few suggestions based on my experience?

• Don't wait. Start now with any 15 minute chunk you can scavenge from some dusty corner of your busy day. Then take a tiny imperfect faltering step in the right direction. It sure beats standing still.
• Start small. Set a measurable clear daily objective.

"A small daily task if it be really daily, will beat the labours of a spasmodic Hercules." –Anthony Trollope

This thought inspired me to make a 30 day grid on watercolor paper of the month of November, and into each tiny square to daily plunk a momento in watercolors. In this way I've broken the stalemate of wanting to begin but not knowing quite what or how.

• Don't require a perfect product. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly at first… You have to start somewhere! My little squares of color, my scribbled pages of journaling, my roughly composed essays…are not finished products in themselves. But neither does the pianist expect to play in the concert hall without hours of daily practice spread over months and years. Once you are willing to do a thing poorly you will find you have time to begin. Or as Julia Cameron says in an essay of advice to writers:

" We have time to write the minute we are willing to write badly." (The Right to Write, Cameron, p.16)

• Do create arbitrary deadlines, occasions for which to accomplish a thing. That's what a weekly blog deadline does for me. As Friday draws near, ideas condense and writing happens because it must. It becomes a priority. Birthdays and holidays make great occasions for which to create that personalized 'something' that will get your creative juices flowing. But don't insist that it be perfect. Give who you are at present. It really is the thought that counts.
  
• Be patient with yourself. Consider how long it takes an infant to become an athlete… First he must learn to stand and then to take those first faltering steps that most surely will end in a fall. Many falls. Many messes will happen before a beautiful creation is accomplished. Becoming proficient requires practice. Practice looks immature, silly, and yes, messy. Somehow babies manage to always be 'cute' whether toddling unsteadily, plopping unceremoniously, or scribbling indecipherably. But not so the rest of us. We must be prepared to look silly, to produce work below our own standard of acceptability, to be learners.

But above all, don't ignore that creative God-given bent that burns in your bones to be given time to blossom… Ask God to open your eyes to the time that you have now and to hold your hand as you toddle forth… What's in your heart to learn / to do someday? Today is a good day to make a small start.

--LS

So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. ... And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it. Ps. 90:12, 17 KJV

“Who dares despise the day of small things…” Zec.4:10

P.S.  A helpful book on jump starting your creative bent, written from a Biblical perspective, is Janice Elsheimer's: The Creative Call .
For more information click here. 

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*Cameron, Julia. The Right to Write, Putnam, 1998, p.13

I don’t have the gift of making sandwiches

I don’t have the gift of making sandwiches, but that’s ok.  I will bring the cookies and maybe some celery sticks stuffed with Cheese Whiz…

I am late in life coming to terms with oughts and shoulds, confessing who I am and who I am not, realizing what I am designed to do and what I can freely leave undone. Though it is difficult to teach an aging hound new tricks, it is not impossible, with God.  So when the plea went out for generous hearts to make a last-minute luncheon impressive, I quickly texted back before my indecisive, over-thinking oughts and shoulds could kick in: “I’d be glad to bring cookies and some veggies.” And that was it. 

I will leave the making of sandwiches to the culinary queens—those ladies that do wonders with cream cheese and thinly sliced cucumbers, and have the savvy to turn cold-cuts and hard-boiled eggs into eye-pleasing, palate-satisfying geometric wonders.  This is not my gift. 

Oh, I can ‘do’ sandwiches.  A mother must resort to these at times.  Bread and Jam are great stand-bys when slathered with Carver’s nutritious invention of PB. But I would better glorify God with cookies and Grandma’s cheeze-whiz celery sticks I think.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about oughts and shoulds, and how they fit in with the works we’ve been designed for from the foundation of the world…(Eph.1:4;2:10)

I’m wrestling with writing and watercolor—those pursuits that I’ve always supposed would blossom and flourish with the simple addition of unlimited time.  And I’m finding that just as all of creation cannot be accounted for by a chance+time formula, so neither can human creativity.  There is a certain something that is innate, God-given and by design.  No amount of time spent ‘getting down to it’ will substitute for that.

But even so we whole-heartedly present our bodies, ‘as-is’,  for God to direct and energize.  And He uses them for His own purposes and glory as He will. 

No better illustration comes to mind than the movie Chariots of Fire.  I watched this old favorite again with Jim this week.   We went on a date to see it back in the 80’s when it first hit American theaters.  Its rousing theme never fails to take us back to those days…

The film depicts a sharp contrast of motive in the pursuit of excellence.  It is the story of two British athletes that compete in the 1924 Olympics. One man runs for the glory of God. “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.”  The other runs to prove his own worth.  There is little pleasure in it, only compulsion.  “I'm forever in pursuit and I don't even know what I am chasing.”  Both are world-class athletes.  But only one receives an enduring prize.

That fleet Scotsman, Eric Liddell, convinced that to neglect his gift would be to hold God in contempt, pursues Olympic excellence to honor God. (This is the part of his life covered in the film).  But having gained fame he leaves it all behind to bury himself (literally) in China as a missionary.  He dedicates all He has to God-- his running, his preaching,  his teaching,  and the actual laying down of his life for fellow-inmates at a Japanese internment camp. (This is the part not seen in the film.)

Through the film Chariots of Fire this life story has been resurrected for our edification.  This is what it means to run the race set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.(Heb.12:1,2)  This is what it means to present our bodies a living sacrifice, ‘as is’, for whatever God purposes to do with them. (Rom.12:1,2) This is how we bring God pleasure--by being who He has designed us to be.

We have nothing to prove.  There is no competition.  We run for His glory the race set before us.  And He empowers and equips us individually with all that is required to run it.  That is all.  To do and to die looking unto Jesus with all our life’s energies…this is our calling. 

Will it be a ‘creative call’?  For some. 

Will we be lauded and memorialized? God sees. He remembers.  That is enough. If He chooses to use our story to spur others on, so be it.  If not, that is His business. 

And as I reorient myself to this life of faith and faithfulness, the clamor of  compulsive ought’s and should’s fades into irrelevance.  My talents or lack thereof are not the point.  For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself.  For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's.  Rom 14:7,8 ESV

But others have said this better than I.  Let me close with a quote from a book I finished recently by Pastor Jud Wilhite:

God challenges us to realize we were not created to be made much of, but to make much of Him. At our core, we’re not created for fame. We’re made to make God famous, designed to love Him with all of our heart, without leaving room for would-be idols . And until we realize God rescued us for His fame and not our own, we’ll miss the ultimate purpose for life, which is Him. We are found when we realize our center is outside ourselves and our achievements, in God Himself.  (Pursued,p.50)

And now I should probably get out that cookie recipe…

--LS

Deliver me from my enemies, O LORD! I have fled to you for refuge. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground! Ps. 143:9-10 ESV

Now may the God of peace…equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen. Heb.13:20-21 ESV

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. ... All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills.1Cor. 12:4-7, 11 ESV

For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure. Phil.2:13 KJV

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Wilhite,Jud. Pursued:God's Divine Obsession with You .  FaithWords: 2013. Kindle Edition.

Creative Joy

I am seldom happier than when I have creative projects on the go, at least once they are taking shape and I can see the end in view. The joy of creating is only rivaled by the joy of beholding the finished product and realizing, "It is good". Do you suppose this is a way we share God's likeness? When we create, whether it be a quilt or a sketch, a clean window or a tasty meal… we are exhibiting that which sets us apart from all other creatures; we are displaying the image of God, the ultimate Creator and designer of every good thing. We are fulfilling our design, and it is good!

"And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good." Gen.1:31

I finished a long-standing project last night. The process was not fun, but it was needful. I had to pin myself down to a deadline to get it accomplished. I guess you could say it was a creative project, but the grist I had to work with was not of my own choosing. It was a tangle that needed sorting, defining, straightening—a messy mental project. Critiques are like that. Not only must you sort another's thoughts and words, and weigh them against your perception of God’s thoughts, but you must capture your own voice in words and then order them in such a way as to present an honest but not caustic perspective—one that will bring clarity (and hopefully the mind of the Lord) to benefit the hearer, not merely generate dissension! It is a relief to have it finished. This was a creative task I've felt compelled to take on for months now, but have squirmed out from under till now. For creativity, even a critical book review, [“Face to Face with Bill Johnson”], makes one vulnerable to criticism and disapproval too. It reveals something of what's inside its creator, for better or for worse. The fear of man can stifle it. A word aptly spoken is not always a welcome word. And yet there is this calling to create…and this deep satisfaction when it is finished….

So I woke this morning to my quiet interlude with joy. The robins were singing before the sun had fully risen. I reflected on the joy of creating and remembered God's words to Job, hinting at the creative joy He knew as the foundations of the world were laid:

"…when the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy?" Job 38:7

I read on down through Job 38 listening to the marvel of God reciting the glory of all His creative genius. Take a minute today to do the same. What an incredible chapter, a set of chapters actually..."things too wonderful for me, which I did not know"…awesome! And Job's heart is transformed in the hearing and the yielding to His awesome Creator's right to do what He wills…Glorious passage!

I was tugged away from my solitude to put the Red River cereal on to boil, and found rare sunshine streaming in my big kitchen windows. Residue from my last cleaning attempts was all too obvious. Can't have that! Vinegar to the rescue! And then the outsides showed their dust and next thing you know I'd whisked outside to the fresh, song-filled air and hit them with Car Wash solution and a good hose down, while the Red River simmered on the stove. Water streaming, making rainbows. A perplexed but patient husband looking out through all the water on his happy wife creating beauty for the joy of it…

Back inside I put on my happy Saturday song (even though it's only Friday!)—Fernando Ortega singing 'This Good Day':

”This good day
It is a gift from You.
The world is turning in its place
because You made it to.
I lift my voice
To sing a song of praise
On this good day.”

The day is just beginning. A quilt top lies wildly beautiful on the living room carpet, awaiting just its borders—hopefully today?! A piece of watercolor paper is at the ready in my new creative space—Joshua's old room-- begging for the pale yellows and pinks to flow to orange on its face…This new day with all its creative possibilities lies before me. What joy!

“Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them." The LORD has done great things for us; we are glad. Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.” Ps.126:2-6

For you, O LORD, have made me glad by your work; at the works of your hands I sing for joy. Ps.92:4

Praise My Soul, the King of Heaven!

--LS 

"May the Lord rejoice in His works." Ps. 104:31

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From the archives…for more thoughts on joy, see: Fresh Joy

Sweet Summer Sun-Day

...as we pedaled in tandem

cooled feet under the Bridge

in pools on stone

to the sound of water rushing, gurgling--

            falling

 

...as we shared the load back to town again

a couple well suited

a glory to You

with iced tea for reward

and sweet joy shared, in tandem.

 

Sweet summer Sun-day

...as we sliced through calm ocean

to survey the 'Hulks'--

time tested stalwarts, still steady,

with grapefruit slushie to follow

and sweet joy shared, in tandem.

Home again we cat-napped

and feasted on fowl

and sweet summer slices of

wet watermelon

and I lay me down as sun faded down

under fleece-lined quilt to read poems

and dream of sweet summer sun

in verse.

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That was the gist of our sweet day. For the straight up detailed version go to my alternate blog: www.lindaskelton.blogspot.com

Christian Art?

Ok. So I've been reading Dorothy Sayers essays this afternoon, this dreary cold and wet afternoon that suggests a head cold in the making... The essay entitled: "Toward a Christian Esthetic" captured my attention. No, not because of the dry title! (What does "esthetic" exactly mean anyway?*)  --but because I think 'the arts' have gotten a bad rap in our times from Christians and I'm always on the lookout for a good defense.  Just because anything and everything unsavory and bizarre is termed ''art" and promoted at the taxpayer's expense does not mean that art is useless does it?  or that artists are all losers?  No regard is given to the fact that God is in fact the greatest Artist of all time and surely His image is detectable somewhere in His creatures' capacity to create.  Anyway,  I digress by way of telling how such a dry title could capture my attention on this drowsy afternoon....

Dorothy Sayers sets out in this essay to give a state of the arts report and to propose a Christian philosophy of the arts, as in, what should art look like (whether poem, painting or play, or movie, music or sculpting) if it is truly reflective of the image of God?  Her analysis concerns England in the World War II era, but I find her remarks to be strikingly apropos to our own times.  Her analysis if it is accurate is cause for alarm in our generation, as in NOW, for ourselves and our own progeny!  Only catch is I'm not sure what action to take.  Here's hoping you have some ideas to add.

But first the state of things:
It's the age old problem of a culture which demands entertainment at the expense of true art.  What's the difference?  The Greeks tried to get a handle on it.  Plato figured there should be only good guys on the stage--only things worthy of imitation, inspiring noble action.  Then he went further than that and wanted to ban all representational art, that is, all art that was an imitation of the real thing.  Hmm... I guess all plays and movies are out!  His reason: the effect on the audience.  He said it was a waste of emotional energy that could have been put toward the real problems of life instead of dissipated in the theater. He said that arousing passions whether pity, courage, indignation or whatever by means of play-acting  left the mind empty and slack with no appetite for real life, but only for more of the same. He was a prophet to his own generation, and to ours?  We haven't come to war and collapse yet.  Is that our only hope?

I quote from Sayers:
"We too have audiences and critics and newspapers assessing every play and book and novel in terms of its entertainment value, and a whole generation of young men and women who dream over novels and wallow in daydreaming at the cinema, and who seemed to be in a fair way of doping themselves into complete irresponsibility over the conduct of life until war came, as it did in Greece, to jerk them back to reality."

While such diversions may be ok for occasional relaxation, Sayers suggests that a regular diet of the unreal will eventually corrupt one's consciousness of reality in experience leading to "a civilization that lives for amusement, a civilization without guts, without experience, and out of touch with reality." Yikes.  What a prognosis.

This type of "art" according to Sayers fails to conform to a proper Christian esthetic. 

What then? 
Shall we have movies and books instead that moralize and preach, upholding good causes and manipulating the viewer with a good story line to take action? Is this real art or just propaganda?

Will leave you to chew on these thoughts till next time.  My day has wound down to a drowsy evening by the fire and it feels like time for a break from so much thinking... perhaps a good movie would be just the thing? (!)

--LS

* esthetic - A guiding principle in matters of artistic beauty and taste; artistic sensibility

Quotations taken from the Essay: Toward a Christian Esthetic in The Whimsical Christian by Dorothy Sayers